my mom destroyed my quality of life too

[Hades]

i see a lot of people saying that they are angry with their families cause they pushed them go to a psyciatrist.something that alone may wouldnt do or if do probably had a search about psyciatric drugs and psyciatrists in general.anyway at least if things turned out that we are in the same situation like now at least if we had the decision to do it from oursefles,would give all the blame to us.now is tottally different,and i can relate to you and understand you guys.

i was away from my home for 5 years in another city and i came back in my parents home for some months to see how i will continue my life after university and feel some secure and family love. my parents saw me different,mild depressed sometites and aggresive others, especially my mother had insisted for 2 years to go to a "specialist"and i was denying saying i will do bymyself whenever i want if it will be needed.i had a different life the years i was away from home.i did drugs,i did good and bad friendship with other guys,and relationships with a lot of different woman. I was living at night most drinkin alchocol weed and other street drugs occasionally i was doing well on university though,i was goin to exams and passing.my personality was different enough to take the attention of my parents and see that something is going wrong .they started get anxious,but i didnt said them anything about my life. Things was going well with ups and downs.i had a depression state for some months when i broke up with my main girlfriend and i didnt came out from house for 3 months in a row.Before that i had one more strange episode after amphetamine use,something like mild ocd about the harms the drugs caused to me because it was too strong and i didnt expect it.i left behind my 2 break downs 1st with my unwanted ampetamine use that scared the fuck out of me for permanent changes and then with the broke up of my main relashioship i had for 1 year and a halfANYWAY i got through that and i was my good self again.AND THEN a 3rd breakdown came,i had a fight with a close university friend near to the end of my end of university years and one bad touch with a girlf doing drugs and her friends.After that mild ocd and mild depression came back together more strong.my mistake there was that i didnt stop to do drugs and i couldnt handle the situations.I was closed to my self again and didnt want to see anyone from friends girls and family.then i came back to parents home as i said in the start and they decided to take me to a psyciatrist without asking me.My mother she decided to make an appointment with her "doctor" and make me with psycological war to go with her on him.i went and made the mistake to tell him allthese things about drugs i took in the past and the feelings i had in time which was intense plus fear panic attacks and anxiety(cause i didnt knew what to say) and he said i have a psycotic episode and i need to be hospitalized.and then gave me antipsycotics pills without mentioning the harms may have.after that i am fucked from the top to the bottom psycially psycologically.now iam worst than ever.and guess the best part.now the family after that cause i blamed and blaming them that it was their desicion to take the me there and made me trust a man i havent seen before,said i am mentally ill and now they told me to get out of the house and go live alone somewhere else,or go to a clinic with other problematic guys to have some activities.Now i dont know even if i can graduate from university and i was on 3/4 of it.now i must go outside to take my life in my hands get a job and whatever with all these fucking problems from that afuckin antipsycotic pills.SO if you think about it more simply i just wanted a help from family and a little support to end my university and get into my after-university life and instead of it i got

PSSD
mild gynecomastia
restless legs syndrome
no connect to music (its important cause iam a musician and i wanted to be involved with music,as a hobby or even as a job)
no feel the taste of food
anhedonia
muscle tics
muscle lost
dry skin
diarhea

and as you know some more brain problems
i think i dont even need to mention how is my depression and ocd symptoms after all these

so my touch with my family after all these years made to me get all these things i said before.and now they nearly abandon me from the house cause the reactions i had after all that things was pretty agressive and bad.

i dont want to put all the blame on them,cause i had problems before that.but i could manage these problems like i did in the past.and i hadnt problems on my survival skils and if you see it practically i would face my fears and my responsibilitys late or early it doenst matter.

now i feel like a problematic victim of society and must stand on my feet with a destroyed body and spirit.

thanks family i cant even look them in the eyes the most times.

[IHateProzac]

We have all been through rough patches. Some of us have been as desperate as you, if not more. But we have learned to live with it. We take small windows of happiness & make a big deal out of it. When some of us got lemons from the life we made lemon aid. I would suggest you try to calm down first. This may take time. The path you'll walk is going to be immensely frustrating but you'll find your windows of recovery & possibly complete recovery.

There are people here who have suffered same symptoms as you have. They'll hopefully guide you through different supplements & meds that would help you in some or many ways.

Before that you might want to visit an endocrinologist & have number of blood tests done, just to rule out if you have developed any hormonal changes. One test that endos usually don't prescribe but may be important is that of Plasma Homocysteine. Have that done too. If its high have it looked by a cardio.

Additionally, fix up your family life. You'll need them. & there is no substitute for a mother. What she did was out of worry.

Also try to write short stories. PSSD sufferers usually don't have enough patience to read long paragraphs without breaks. Hence the lack of respond.

[PLZNO]

My mom simply didn't want me to go to the army (all healthy men must join the military)
I said "No" but she persuaded me over and over again
That's the main reason why I visited the psychiatrist
It doesn't mean that a mentally super fine man is trying to dodge the military draft, I had anxiety and I wanted to fix it
Took brintellix, escitalopram and no improvement..
But PSSD taught me how to face my problems
Of course I still have anxiety but It doesn't bother me anymore
Couple of months ago, I did not carry my medical records when I went for physical examnination and recieved highest physical rating
I decided to face my destiny, struggling makes things worse
PSSD gave me the opportunity to change
I hope I can forgive my mom someday

[Bigmum]

My mother encouraged me to go to shrink because of stress
I blamed and still blame her. I m angry cause all my familly said...."so what, thats not problem...."
But more i accept what happened....more i see her crying face when i said all bad words and swears...
Idk....now it s better focus on cleaning that fucking mess
Even if people (mother, shrinks etc) feel guilty....it changes NOTHING...

[Dark0047]

I will never forgive my mother. I turned into an evil that only thinks about hurting her. I can't forget how she insisted me to visit that idiot psychiatrist who prescribed me those shitty things that I am 100% sure they themselves won't even touch it if someday they become depressed. If only I wasn't convinced or didn't give a fuck to my mother insistence this never happened to me. I remember I had beautiful days. I used to talk to friends and keep laughing for some hours in a row. I even got tired of laughing. But what about now? I never laughed or felt happy again after that tragedy. This is my nightmare, I am ready to lose everything except this. I lost what I was so sensitive on. Now, my mother keeps crying as I shout on her and blame her for her stupidity. I am only 22 years old and my life has ended just now. I don't see I can handle this situation anymore. But this feeling of revenge... I should take my revenge before dying. Fuck all parents who put their innocent kids on these dangerous drugs. I hope they all die with the worst pain.

[Bigmum]

So kill her....will you feel better??!!!...NO..you WON'T!!!!

[PLZNO]

I see your anger Dark0047
In your state can no longer think straight, I know
I also wanted to revenge my mom and doc
Intense workout helps me to forget, during workout you can only feel physical pain
I hope this'll help..

[Jones]

Im not against blaiming others for the mess we are in.

Taking all the responsibilty ourselves would be ridiculus and would harm our already fragile emotional state and self esteem.

But if someone is to blame, that's the evil people who we trusted and were supposed to help us and get us out of a bad state. The so called "professionals".

Our parents and close people that do not understand might be ignorrant, but they do NOT want our harm by any means. They may tend to underestimate the severity of this and act like there is no problem, but they did NOT want it to happen. If they knew we would be in such pain and were aware of the actual damage, they would tie us with ropes to not go to a shrink. I think everybody here believes this deep inside.

However the more i think about the responsibility of the "doctors" for what we are going through, the more i lose faith in humanity and get full with hatred. Today i read an article which said that psychiatrists are among the doctors who WOULDNT take the medication they prescribe to their patients! They know guys, they know what they have done to us. They wouldnt castrate themselves or their children, but they make money on castrating everybody else with no remorse.

And even if the dont know and they are ingorant too, there is no excuse. The internet is full of info and also most of them have heard of pssd from their patients. They CHOOSE to act like it doesnt exist. In expense of our lives, of course.

Our parents did what seemed most rational for them and listened to a "professional's" advice. They are as much innocent as we are. The doctors need to get rat tortured and forced to live without genitals while watching their families get raped by race horses. (maybe too much)

[Dark0047]

Im not against blaiming others for the mess we are in.

Taking all the responsibilty ourselves would be ridiculus and would harm our already fragile emotional state and self esteem.

But if someone is to blame, that's the evil people who we trusted and were supposed to help us and get us out of a bad state. The so called "professionals".

Our parents and close people that do not understand might be ignorrant, but they do NOT want our harm by any means. They may tend to underestimate the severity of this and act like there is no problem, but they did NOT want it to happen. If they knew we would be in such pain and were aware of the actual damage, they would tie us with ropes to not go to a shrink. I think everybody here believes this deep inside.

However the more i think about the responsibility of the "doctors" for what we are going through, the more i lose faith in humanity and get full with hatred. Today i read an article which said that psychiatrists are among the doctors who WOULDNT take the medication they prescribe to their patients! They know guys, they know what they have done to us. They wouldnt castrate themselves or their children, but they make money on castrating everybody else with no remorse.

And even if the dont know and they are ingorant too, there is no excuse. The internet is full of info and also most of them have heard of pssd from their patients. They CHOOSE to act like it doesnt exist. In expense of our lives, of course.

Our parents did what seemed most rational for them and listened to a "professional's" advice. They are as much innocent as we are. The doctors need to get rat tortured and forced to live without genitals while watching their families get raped by race horses. (maybe too much)

I agree with you. I have thought about killing my psychiatrist or at least beat the shit out of him quite a lot. I hope one day I do that but there is 18 months jail for that. I think it's worth it anyway. That's so fucking unfair that these animals don't take the drugs they prescribe to their patients. That's so damn unfair that they don't give a shit about others being castrated so easily just to make money. These bastards should be tortured to death. And BTW, I am interested in reading the article you read on retarded psychiatrists don't take psychiatric drugs they prescribe. If you have a link please pm me

[ChocoToken]

You might want to lay off the hardcore drugs such as amphetamine.. While they feel the best, they tend to be EXTREMELY deterimental.. If you love alternatives substances, just stick to weed.. Occasionally, alcohol.

Have you tried applying for welfare or section 8 housing? Maybe you should find other hobbies, or surround yourself around positive people to take your mind off of this. Try finding a job at a thrift store, or maybe around helping the youth. Many kids tend to be happy, innocent, and carefree, which somewhat brought me joy to my life..

The dry skin, tics, muscle lost, and diarrhea can also come from alcohol abuse. I'm an alcoholic, and I suffer from all these symptoms.. Sometimes, If I get alcohol poison, I lose balance, can barely eat, shake, and my legs hurt.



Also, NEVER trust "therapy" or getting mental help from governmental assistance.. They don't care about you, they just want to drain you of your money..
Talk to other victims.. Talking to other victims really helped me improved more so than what therapist, psychologist and psychiatrists have done.