ferdydurke intro

[ferdydurke]

Hi everyone. First of all I'd like to apologize for any grammar mistakes but I'm not a native (I'm from Poland, by the way) and also not very fluent with my english but hope I'd be understandable enough, though.

I've been visiting this forum for quite a while now and must say I appreciate all of the effort you guys put in making research on the subject, it really gives one some cause of hope.

I'm 24 now. I was taking SSRI exactly from December 2016 to about - idk - april 2017? or smth, and they have been prescribed to me for a social phobia that I have suffered for the most part of my life. I've heard about PSSD years before I started taking the pills, I even visited a psychiatrist once and he prescribed them to me, but I did not dare to start taking them because of the side effects I read about. But in the end, after several years, I decided to take a risk and see what will happen because my social phobia became so unbearable for me to live a normal life and I just coudn't take it any longer. So I get Rexetin from my psychiatrist, of course with assurances from him that there are side effects, yes, but they will disappear when I stop taking the pills. In the same time, the doctor, after my comments that I read on the Internet about various horrible side effects that these drugs cause, assured me that this is nonsense and that "these drugs do not work like this at all" or sth like that and that "people have different reasons for writing all sorts of stuff and I should just do not believe in that". Of course, I felt that he was not telling the truth, but it seems to me that I was simply subconsciously expecting him to tell me the very exact thing that he said because if I heard something different I would not dare take a risk, or I'd just simply go to other psychiatrists until I finally meet one who would tell me what I would like to hear.

Well, coming back to my "therapy", the doctor prescribed me Rexetin, which I took for about three months. I remember to this day that I took the first tablet on Christmas Eve. Of course, all the time I tried to somehow control whether something bad is not happening with my sexual function, and this control of mine consisted more or less regular masturbation and checking if everything is ok. My mistake was that I was not aware of the real nature of the side effects so when I saw that I manage to make myself ejaculate every time it means that everything must be fine. After a month of taking Rexetin, I visited my psychiatrist for another packet of medicine, and then when I mentioned that my main problem was that I was trembling in social situations, she said that I'd better start to take a drug called Propranolol (of course without stopping taking Rexetin). I did not know then what kind of drug this was, now I know that the pills were beta blockers, which - if I'm not mistaken - are often being prescribed for people with Parkinson's disease, which I recently read that they also have a negative impact on libido and of course the doctor also did not inform me about it. So I started taking this Propranolol (20 mg I think), I sometimes took a few pills at a time, but I did not take it every day, only when I had to face some particularly difficult social situations. So here I could put my first question to you, namely, could this drug actually affect my PSSD as well?

Oh, I would almost forget that besides Propranolol, I got prescribed Benzodiazepines, which I also been taking along with Rexetin and Propranolol, but I may have taken in total about 10 tablets and that's all. After three months of this therapy (or maybe even sooner than that, I don't really remember) I started to notice that something with my sexuality is clearly wrong although I do not know in which moment it actually started to happen. In any case the libido fell significantly, I noticed that I did not want to masturbate, although before the SSRI I could not stand a single day without it. I continued to masturbate but I probably missed the moment when I just stopped wanting to do it and I was doing it basically just to make sure everything is ok and as I said earlier - since I saw that there are ejacuations I told myself that everything must be fine. In addition, I noticed after a while that I lost interest in the opposite sex and that women's bodies just stopped exciting me. So I went to the doctor once again saying something was happening, to which he replied that in that case we would change the drug for another and see what happens so I did as he said. So I changed Rexetin into Fluoxetine - I do not remember now what "brand" of fluoxetine I was taking but if it is really important I will try to find a package which I probably still have somewhere. I took this medication for another month, but there was no improvement so I stopped taking drugs completely - of course without any improvement.

And here I am - with anhedonia, without libido and any willingness to live - 2 years after I stopped taking the drugs. Could you guys help me with your advice what may I try to cure/reverse my PSSD?

PS: Once again, sry for my poor grammar.

EDIT: Sry, I haven't noticed that I should have used this pattern so I'm doing it now:
What is your gender? m24
2- Why did you take antidepressants in the first place? - social anxiety
3- How was your sexual and emotional function before antidepressant intake? - I was hypersexual - thinking about sex like all of the time
4- What are your symptoms exactly and when did they start? - anhedonia, no libido,
5- What meds/suppplements have you tried so far? - Haven't try anything yet to cure it
6- Do you have access to meds without prescription (buy online), or would strictly require a prescription for meds to try? - I think I'd rather buy meds from legal sources and don't try anything from uncertain sources at least not yet
7- Can you tolerate galicky foods? what about proteins? - I have some digestive problems (having gases etc.) but I'm not 100% sure if it has to do with galicky foods and I'm also not sure if I haven't any before I started taking the pills /// I'm don't really remember but I probably haven't tried any proteins yet
8- Have you done any blood testing? what were the results? - here they are: https://zapodaj.net/images/e8572714dc298.png

[ferdydurke]

i got some of the results (except DHT ones and i'll get them in about 2 weeks) and i don't know if i'm reading them correctly or not but it seems that my prolactine level is high as hell.

https://zapodaj.net/images/e8572714dc298.png

[ferdydurke]

Also i was wrong saying that I took fluoxetin after giving up Rexetin since it wasn't fluoxetin but fluvoxamine and the brand was: Fevarin.

[Snake]

Cześć. So it seems already big Polish gang is getting even bigger. Interesting, because I was on ADs also at the break of 2016/2017 and also have it since 2 years, so I see some similiarties.
First you should do is to complete Propeciahelp survey!

Your prolactin level is really high. I think you should do more extended blood pannel, because high prolactin may be an effect of many different problems and include among others TSH, fT3 i fT4 in it. There are many posts here about what good blood pannel should include, for example Mesolimbo was elaborating on that.
Depending on the results we could then try lowering prolactin for example by supplements like ashwagandha, zinc or harder drugs like cabergoline,bromocriptine and then see what happens.

Hang in there! Don't forget about the survery!

[ferdydurke]

yep, i'm already appointed with an endocrinologist in about two weeks to make a resonance to make sure everything is ok with my pituitary gland. he already has seen these blood results of mine and said what you did that i should also make those TSH, fT3 i fT4 as well which i will as soon as i'd be able cause now i'm on antibiotic.

is it possible that this prolactin is the cause of my problems?

which survery do you mean by the way?

[raven100]

Cześć. So it seems already big Polish gang is getting even bigger. Interesting, because I was on ADs also at the break of 2016/2017 and also have it since 2 years, so I see some similiarties.
First you should do is to complete Propeciahelp survey!

Your prolactin level is really high. I think you should do more extended blood pannel, because high prolactin may be an effect of many different problems and include among others TSH, fT3 i fT4 in it. There are many posts here about what good blood pannel should include, for example Mesolimbo was elaborating on that.
Depending on the results we could then try lowering prolactin for example by supplements like ashwagandha, zinc or harder drugs like cabergoline,bromocriptine and then see what happens.

Hang in there! Don't forget about the survery!

Are antidepressants very widely prescribed in Poland?

[Snake]

Are antidepressants very widely prescribed in Poland?

Yep, people here love taking drugs and doctors love prescribing them. Apart from that, there are nearly 40 million people here.

is it possible that this prolactin is the cause of my problems?

Yes and no. In theory, too high prolactin could cause sexual dysfunctions alone. In PSSD cases that I know, there were examples of people who saw improvements after lowering prolactin and there were also others who didn't notice anything.

[ferdydurke]

I think that it also would be useful if I'll specify what the sympthoms of my PSSD exactly are because I think I haven't done it clear enough.

So, basically it is almost impossible for me to get a spontaneous erection from watching porn when before PSSD sometimes I could not stand a few hours without watching it and masturbating and even a simple recall of a porn video that I watched before or something would give me a boner (I was definitely hypersexual). Now when I watch porn I feel as though as I was staring and the wall. I still masturbate like every single day and of course I'm able to get an erection (with physical stimulation mostly) and to ejalucate rather without a bigger problem but I'm not sure myself whether it still really gives me any real pleasure or maybe I just try to fool myself that it does. I sometimes still get spontaneous ones as well but they aren't that strong as they used to be (at least not every single time but I still get those too). I get these spontaneous ones mostly when I walk through city and see some pretty girls round there but even though I feel I have an erection it's much weaker and I don't feel this - you know - wave of hotness - if I can call it that - that I used to feel before SSRIs and the feeling of being hypnotized by woman's body. It is also strange because strongest spontaneous ones I'm able to get right now are the ones which I get from fantasizing about the girl on which I have a crush on but it looks like these fantasies of mine are more of this - you know - romantic nature than sexual one - like on hugging each other and kissing more than having sex and those romantic fantasies seem to mame me hard as well.

Here are also some PMs which I sent to one of the users of this forum where I was explaining him my condition.

"I don't even want to talk about the lack of emotions. It is probably the worst part of whole this shit. When I was suffering from my social phobia even though my daily life was pretty much of a mess - going to sleep was a method for a relief for me. You know - not only to cry into the pillow which I also did quite often - but I could start to dream about the life that I could've had and never had. About having a girlfriend to whom I could hug or something like that. I was pretty much thinking about girls like all of the time (i was hypersexualized as I said) and I've always been falling in love pretty easily. And this dreaming (which of course was increased by my hypersexuality) was always giving me a HUGE relief and now when I turn of the lights and go to bed I ain't feel anything and that's goddamn terrible. I go to sleep and I feel an emptiness.

I myseld would risk saying that I don't have other symptoms aside from sexual ones. Let me explain. I can still kinda enjoy stuff which I loved before PSSD like listening to music, watching films and reading books but it doesn't have such powerful impact on me as it used to have and I believe that is because my insanely high libido used to strengthen to the extreme the pleasure that I drew from the activities that I just mentioned. For example when I was reading a book and there was some romantic passage I would cry like crazy reading it and basically the same thing I also had with music and films. I can still enjoy watching/reading/listening to things but I can't cry anymore or it is damn hard and sometimes I try to force myself to do it cause it still brings some kind of a relief but it's only residual. So I can say that I kinda understand you that it isn't only about sex and girls but for me it was a bit different and I think my libido was like for real the most important thing in my life.

I mean once I used to be in a bad mood and 2 hours later in the very contrary and now I basically do not feel either those good as well as the bad emotions and I just feel kinda the same like all of the time which means feeling neither good nor the bad ones. And it surely explains why I have problems with crying which for me is (was?) just realising all the negative emotions from yourself to get the relief that you want but which emotions can you realise since you don't have any."

So here you guys see how my current condition basically is.

[Snake]

I think that it also would be useful if I'll specify what the sympthoms of my PSSD exactly are because I think I haven't done it clear enough.

So, basically it is almost impossible for me to get a spontaneous erection from watching porn when before PSSD sometimes I could not stand a few hours without watching it and masturbating and even a simple recall of a porn video that I watched before or something would give me a boner (I was definitely hypersexual). Now when I watch porn I feel as though as I was staring and the wall. I still masturbate like every single day and of course I'm able to get an erection (with physical stimulation mostly) and to ejalucate rather without a bigger problem but I'm not sure myself whether it still really gives me any real pleasure or maybe I just try to fool myself that it does. I sometimes still get spontaneous ones as well but they aren't that strong as they used to be (at least not every single time but I still get those too). I get these spontaneous ones mostly when I walk through city and see some pretty girls round there but even though I feel I have an erection it's much weaker and I don't feel this - you know - wave of hotness - if I can call it that - that I used to feel before SSRIs and the feeling of being hypnotized by woman's body. It is also strange because strongest spontaneous ones I'm able to get right now are the ones which I get from fantasizing about the girl on which I have a crush on but it looks like these fantasies of mine are more of this - you know - romantic nature than sexual one - like on hugging each other and kissing more than having sex and those romantic fantasies seem to mame me hard as well.

Here are also some PMs which I sent to one of the users of this forum where I was explaining him my condition.

"I don't even want to talk about the lack of emotions. It is probably the worst part of whole this shit. When I was suffering from my social phobia even though my daily life was pretty much of a mess - going to sleep was a method for a relief for me. You know - not only to cry into the pillow which I also did quite often - but I could start to dream about the life that I could've had and never had. About having a girlfriend to whom I could hug or something like that. I was pretty much thinking about girls like all of the time (i was hypersexualized as I said) and I've always been falling in love pretty easily. And this dreaming (which of course was increased by my hypersexuality) was always giving me a HUGE relief and now when I turn of the lights and go to bed I ain't feel anything and that's goddamn terrible. I go to sleep and I feel an emptiness.

I myseld would risk saying that I don't have other symptoms aside from sexual ones. Let me explain. I can still kinda enjoy stuff which I loved before PSSD like listening to music, watching films and reading books but it doesn't have such powerful impact on me as it used to have and I believe that is because my insanely high libido used to strengthen to the extreme the pleasure that I drew from the activities that I just mentioned. For example when I was reading a book and there was some romantic passage I would cry like crazy reading it and basically the same thing I also had with music and films. I can still enjoy watching/reading/listening to things but I can't cry anymore or it is damn hard and sometimes I try to force myself to do it cause it still brings some kind of a relief but it's only residual. So I can say that I kinda understand you that it isn't only about sex and girls but for me it was a bit different and I think my libido was like for real the most important thing in my life.

I mean once I used to be in a bad mood and 2 hours later in the very contrary and now I basically do not feel either those good as well as the bad emotions and I just feel kinda the same like all of the time which means feeling neither good nor the bad ones. And it surely explains why I have problems with crying which for me is (was?) just realising all the negative emotions from yourself to get the relief that you want but which emotions can you realise since you don't have any."

So here you guys see how my current condition basically is.

Very good description, same happened to me.

[Bigmum]

Cześć !!! Check out thread about protocols for similar symptoms (PFS) and visit swolesource. I 've made some nice progress with natural methods.