Coping mechanisms

General discussions. Feel free to use this like a support group also.
thewiseold
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by thewiseold »

infinityzer00000 wrote: Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:23 pm Hi everyone,

I tend to come back and post once in awhile and I figured now would be another good time. I'm not sure how many people I've reached with my suggestions to look at this from a different angle as it has worked out quite well for me. No depression, anxiety, or OCD and my sexual function is improving pretty regularly along with my emotional range. I used to be in the same position as a lot of you and while I don't want to offer false hope for anyone I am a testament to the fact that this approach was effective. If you're going to try things you might as well ad this to the list especially if you decide you've had enough and want to check out. So here it goes...

Trauma. Trauma. Trauma. There's a reason you can't feel things or enjoy things (anhedonia) and why your sex drive is none existent and that's because I believe you're all severely traumatized. It took me about 9 years before I was about to kill myself with nembutal before some therapist gave me hope with the concept of complex trauma. I was at the end. I was exhausted with all the insomnia and depression and stress and just absolute hell I was living in day to day. When the idea of trauma was first suggested to me I actually smirked and thought it was a joke and I'm taking the nembutal I ordered from China. The therapy when it started proved there was some truth to this. It made me aware that there was an immense amount of pain buried so deep in my heart that my body just shut down and coming off the drugs allowed all the pain to resurface at once and take everything offline, my emotions, libido, confidence, sexuality, excitement etc.

I came from a bad home. I didn't think it was bad, but it was pretty damn bad and that young version of me was in agony and I forgot all about him just like my parents did. Since I started my path to healing about 2/2.5 years ago I have become a completely different person. While I still struggle with the stress some days everything in my life is an order of magnitude better. I sleep, I have my sex, I'm kicking ass at my job, I'm enjoying things again and my emotions are coming back to the surface. I am learning to love myself for the first time.

Now the current state of your mind might skip over this completely because that's what I myself would have done in your shoes. The OCD and all the other symptoms make it seem like there really is no hope in hell that this could work, but what have you got to lose? There's no drugs necessary, just your own willingness to persevere and heal. I have answered a few messages from a couple of people over the years and I have pointed them in the right direction.

The bottom line is that your body is trying to protect you from pain by shutting things down.

Good luck everyone. Imagine those people that committed suicide when it turns out there was a solution? Unlocking the pain deep within you and facing it head on. Give it a try that's all I ask.
please please please help me. Reply to me with your discord or something so I can PM you. I KNOW this is exactly what is going on.

For me, when I got off SSRIs, everything came back pretty hard. I got my emotions back pleasure, sexuality, etc. Also it came with DPDR, severe anxiety and panic. I KNOW I got traumatized from weed DPDR (reason I went on SSRI), and from many other things over the last 3 years. Trauma in me is for sure. My PSSD symptoms ketp coming after each huge panic and overwhelming emotions after getting off SSRI, each time one of these most severe episodes happened, the PSSD symtpoms get worse and worse. OCD too.. etc... many small traumas and big. Fuck. A lot of times I think omg its PSSD its a chemical cause etc.,, but i Have many expereinces which point to trauma. Pls reply to me and help me pls :(

I really want ot get rid of this ASAP and move on with my life.
infinityzer00000
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by infinityzer00000 »

I know you're panicking right now. I understand that panic. If you are at where I was than it's not going to be an easy fix. I myself am still struggling with many things, but I can tell you I am no longer in a state of despair. The truth is that in order to come to this place you have to recognize that you were broken in the first place and the drugs you took just made you more broken. They are not cures for an ailment you may have. They may have at best been a cover for the symptoms you were experiencing. This is the lie of our medical system, our environment made us ill. I can't tell you the direct path to your own healing because I am still figuring out my own, but I can assure you that you are in a lot of pain. You need to confront that pain. We all likely suffer from some variation of complex post traumatic stress injury.

I've had many posts and how I would tackle this so I would suggest you look through my history. Your subconscious has buried this pain in a deep part of yourself. How can you be emotional, aroused or happy in a constant state of stress?

Wim hof has excellent breathing exercises and Michael Sealey has great meditations. I would start there. Grieve the loss of your past self. I'm sorry that this is a shock to you, but it's all I can suggest.
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dann888
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by dann888 »

Hi Guys,
I found Wim Hof breathing technique is highly effective in anxiety. As most of us suffering from PSSD because of elevated anxiety, please refer below 2 videos and do that daily basis. From my experience I got positive results from day 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCaZQqAs9I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tybOi4hjZFQ
defmyst
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by defmyst »

I realized I had PSSD only about a month ago. Didn’t even know that was a thing, but had to do my own research after my sexual function never returned when I stopped taking Effexor in September 2019.

The problem is I am 30 and single and frankly I feel that I will never be able to be with someone or have kids and just die alone...
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dann888
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by dann888 »

Hi defmyst,
If you can going through my past comments in the forum I was also thinking like you. Actually it's a fear of future events that never happened. It is 100% reasonable to think that way with our condition. But the point is that thinking generate anxiety and anxiety will tell you, you can never marry, never be happy and will die alone. I would like to highlight few points which I understand through my journey.

1. We suffering from PSSD because of our current anxiety feelings

2. If we can conquer current anxiety we no longer suffering about our future or PSSD (Libido will be nice to have option)

3. With your current anxiety you will never understand and believe above point 2. So you have to work on reducing anxiety

4. We assume about women from our mind set and it is totally wrong. Because what men will expect from a woman mostly is hard sex and most women don't want hard sex as men. If you are honest caring man that's what most women need.
I know with our condition it is very hard to select a woman, Kiss/Hug and everything about romance. You may think what will I do with her through out whole life time if I don't much like to have sex. So that's all are anxiety induced thinking in my point of view. once you be friend with a kind woman you can be with her as a friend first and then you can build your OWN intimacy with her once you build the confidence around her. This is all learning and development but it will be getting easier for you once you keep increasing your confidence.

For reducing anxiety I can suggest you below things apart from your current medical treatments if you are undertaken.

1. Read about Buddhism. What the load Buddha said about mind and suffering. This learning alone grab me from the hell and placed me in a happy mind set.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Q1VRu ... N&index=19)

2. Echart tolles videos. how to avoid anxiety by being in present (I already shared one in this thread)

3. Wim Hof breathing exercise. Your oxygen filled body will relax your mind (I already shared in this thread)

4. Any counseling if you want(I've never attend to a counseling though)
defmyst
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by defmyst »

Hy Dann888,

Thanks I appreciate all of the advice. I do have a buspirone prescription that I take when I need. Frankly I wasn’t freaking out about this and was pretty calm while waiting to get my sexual function back. It never happened and then I leaned about PSSD and started to freak out.

My understanding it that erectile dysfunction isn’t induced by anxiety. It definitely wasn’t in my case. It is part of the whole problem that generates PSSD in general. I have never been able to return to the previous level of erection I had prior to taking antidepressants and I have been off of them for about 9 months. I have yet to try any pill that can help with that.
seismicwaves
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by seismicwaves »

Hi defmyst,

I am feeling exactly the same thing about dying alone. Anxiety has nothing to do with pssd. I had no erection problems when I had anxiety 13 years ago. But I forever lost it right after taking ssris. A little bit of libido may come back and a weak erection may give a seconds long guest appearance.

In the end it is just us and a life with no real direction.

It always seems that things would never change for the better. It may be true that anxiety slows us down but ssris cost me cognitive decline as well.
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dann888
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by dann888 »

Sorry for the late reply guys.
I don't mean anxiety cause PSSD. Anxiety has no way to cause PSSD. I mean you are suffering from PSSD because of your current anxiety and fear. If you can find a way to totally eliminate your anxiety you no longer suffer from what you lost. At the moment I am 99.99% cured from anxiety so I no longer worry about my numb penis. Each Individual should find a suitable way to reduce your suffering. My way was mainly study Buddhism and then I found a caring woman that she gave me confidence. I no longer have a dream to be a sexual god and I can accept things that the nature. Now I am more focusing on Buddhist way of eliminating all the sufferings cause by birth itself.
JakeLawe
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by JakeLawe »

dann888 wrote: Mon Nov 22, 2021 2:21 am Sorry for the late reply guys.
I don't mean anxiety cause PSSD. Anxiety has no way to cause PSSD. I mean you are suffering from PSSD because of your current anxiety and fear. If you can find a way to totally eliminate your anxiety you no longer suffer from what you lost. At the moment I am 99.99% cured from anxiety so I no longer worry about my numb penis. Each Individual should find a suitable way to reduce your suffering. My way was mainly study Buddhism and then I found a caring woman that she gave me confidence. I no longer have a dream to be a sexual god and I can accept things that the nature. Now I am more focusing on Buddhist way of eliminating all the sufferings cause by birth itself.
You're fortunate to find a caring woman.

I get what you're saying.

More and more I'm not caring about my semi numb dick, I wanna pray, meditate, but can't seem to have the drive to.

I'm also a Buddhist.

Of course one's thoughts make heaven or hell. Ever since I gave up hope I don't despair anymore.
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dann888
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Re: Coping mechanisms

Unread post by dann888 »

JakeLawe wrote: Fri Nov 26, 2021 1:59 pm
dann888 wrote: Mon Nov 22, 2021 2:21 am Sorry for the late reply guys.
I don't mean anxiety cause PSSD. Anxiety has no way to cause PSSD. I mean you are suffering from PSSD because of your current anxiety and fear. If you can find a way to totally eliminate your anxiety you no longer suffer from what you lost. At the moment I am 99.99% cured from anxiety so I no longer worry about my numb penis. Each Individual should find a suitable way to reduce your suffering. My way was mainly study Buddhism and then I found a caring woman that she gave me confidence. I no longer have a dream to be a sexual god and I can accept things that the nature. Now I am more focusing on Buddhist way of eliminating all the sufferings cause by birth itself.
You're fortunate to find a caring woman.

I get what you're saying.

More and more I'm not caring about my semi numb dick, I wanna pray, meditate, but can't seem to have the drive to.

I'm also a Buddhist.

Of course one's thoughts make heaven or hell. Ever since I gave up hope I don't despair anymore.
Yes it is hard forgetting our misfortune. It is like to me walking in the dark with fear and relieved once find the light. The thing is I don't find much a sexual happiness from my marriage life but the feeling of not alone and her presence make me bliss. That blissful feeling erase all the negativity in the mind. That's what you need to live OK.

You can approach women by forgetting about sexual needs then talk to them and find a one that admire caring. Tell your true story and find who sticks with you. This is actually easier to say than done. But you have ways doing things and you are not stuck. That stuck feeling make you more anxious if you think that way.
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