Cured by NSI-189

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reincarnation777
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 1:04 pm

Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by reincarnation777 »

Hello to all,
I am a young man from Switzerland and got PSSD from 6 pills of the SSRI Cipralex (better known as Escitalopram to most) back in 2018.
I searched long and desperately for a solution and also read this forum here in silence, but never registered because I was too busy with my own problems.
But now I want to be fair and want to inform you know about my success story.

Since my puberty I had a very high libido and masturbated 3-6 times a day. Unfortunately, I was already showing signs of OCD and anxiety, which peaked when I turned 18. I had just finished school and decided to see a psychiatrist so as not to jeopardize my career (the biggest mistake in my life) who prescribed me Cipralex after about 5 minutes of speaking.
The first two days I didn't notice anything, but the third day I woke up without morning wood, which was unusual for me.
During the day in the city I noticed that the hot chickens in their skirts did not turn me on. In the evening I tried to masturbate and for the first time in my life I couldn't reach an orgasm! I knew it was a common side effect of the medications, and decided to stay calm and try it few days later again.
On the weekend, I had a metting with friends at a party. I don't know, I felt weird when I drank alcohol, like I wasn't getting that buzz anymore. Nevertheless, I took a girl with me at home and she wanted sex. But it didn't want to work. Even when she put her mouth around my tail it felt strangely numb, like it was put a narcotic in my dick. I first thought someone put me something in the drink.
I told her that It was the alcohol and I had a lot to do the next day in the garden, so she had to leave early. It was the most embarrassing and devastating situation of my life. This should be the last girl in my bed for 3 years.

The next day I didn't take a pill because I still thought someone had slipped me something and I was worried how it would react together.
But luckely, I googled "antidepressants and no recation to alcohol" and came across a post on reddit in which I immediately recognized myself. He also had no more buzz after a single pill of Laxapro, and a numb dick!
I thought this can't be true and typed in PSSD into the search bar, read the wiki page, came across all the forums and stories and then Healy's website.
I sat still there and was shocked, hundreds of thoughts flashed through my head like "you ruined your life, oh boy you ruined your life..." The next day, monday, I wanted to confont my psychiatrist. But of course he didn't know anything and said it should dissapear again, as in all the other stories. Frustrated, I threw the pills in the trash and waited to get back to normal. My dick stayed completly numb and dead. But worse than the sexual side were the anhedonia, I had no pleasure or desire anymore, would just lie in bed most of the time. My parents thought I was just depressed, but I knew something terrible had happened. After a few weeks I knew for sure that I must have PSSD. My journey began.

The first year I decided to took nothing, there was too much to try out and i was afraid of messing myself up further. I just eat healthy and force me to do sports.
I also tried not to think about it and let the time heal the things.It did nothing for me.
In the second year I tried some Inostil and St. John's Wort because I had read that it helped some people. I started first with Inositol because it was summer again and SJW is supposed to make you photosensitive. I slowly dosed from 450 mg to 18 g, but became terribly forgetful and confused. I could walk over a red traffic light without noticing. So I stopped it after a few weeks.
In october I finally started St. John's Wort, but it also didn't do much for me. Maybe my mood was a little better and I reacted a little to weed again, but still far from normal. I took it for 3 months to really go sure. I was hopeless and it was the hardest, loneliest winter of my life yet.
In the spring, the third year, I decided it couldn't go on like this and I must save my life.
I googled like a madman for substances that repair the brain, of which a research chemical called NSI 189 seemed the most promising. Studies had shown that it could increase hippocampal volume by up to 20%. I also read hundreds of anecdotal reports how it helped people with anhedonia. Since the hippocampus is the part of the brain that processes emotions, it made sense to me. Even though the thought of taking a barely tested chemical was scary, I decided to risk it and ordered.
I started with 40 mg and after a week at a time went to double the dose, i.e. 40=>80=>120, which was used in studies. At 120 mg I noticed something, the brain fog and anhedonia lift. My mood brightened, motivation returned. The world became sharper (you don't know how much I had gotten used to this state), as if I had gotten HD vision. My libdio also came back a bit, but it still wasn't what it used to be. I stayed like that for a bit over 2 months with moderate sucsess.
One morning I got brave (or stupid?) and took about a gram. The NOAEL (level without harm) of NSI in studys was at 250 mg/kg/day in mice. That would be about 1,6 g for a 80 kg person like me (250x80:12,3).
The rest of the day I've had really bad headdache, but the next morning I woked up with a big morning erection.
I felt very clear and put the blinds up. Bam! The sun was like a super nova, the light very bright, the world full of colour. I remember thinking especially the green of the plants and trees was very beautiful and sharp. My libido went through the roof like I had never thought possible. I decided to stop NSI and the effects have stayed ever since. It's as if my brain has rebooted. That was a fortnight ago now. I hope I won't crash again, but I don't think so, it feels stable. Although I would say I'm not quite as sexual as I was before, don't get me wrong, I masturbate 1-2 times a day now after years of asexuality. Personality-wise, I'd say I'm back to my old self. I feel like I WANT things again. But I have to start compelty new because I lost many friends through PSSD. But that's another topic. All in all, I am overjoyed that I got this second chance in life.
For me, PSSD goes hand in hand with Anhedonia.

best regards from Switzerland
Last edited by reincarnation777 on Wed May 19, 2021 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
cdraham
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Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by cdraham »

Did you have cognitive issues? loss of muscles, fatigue?
reincarnation777
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 1:04 pm

Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by reincarnation777 »

cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:10 pm Did you have cognitive issues? loss of muscles, fatigue?
Severe fatigue in the beginning yes, consistently low energy even at simple things like walking, it's the only thing that got better on it's own with time. Muscle loss I didn't noticed, perhaps they build up more slowly, but due to the fatigue I had also trained less than before.
cdraham
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Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by cdraham »

reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:20 pm
cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:10 pm Did you have cognitive issues? loss of muscles, fatigue?
Severe fatigue in the beginning yes, consistently low energy even at simple things like walking, it's the only thing that got better on it's own with time. Muscle loss I didn't noticed, perhaps they build up more slowly, but due to the fatigue I had also trained less than before.
And you feel 100% cured by now from one high dose of NSI? crazy..
cdraham
Posts: 448
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Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by cdraham »

reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:20 pm
cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:10 pm Did you have cognitive issues? loss of muscles, fatigue?
Severe fatigue in the beginning yes, consistently low energy even at simple things like walking, it's the only thing that got better on it's own with time. Muscle loss I didn't noticed, perhaps they build up more slowly, but due to the fatigue I had also trained less than before.
You also had loss of sleep quality and memory loss?
reincarnation777
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 1:04 pm

Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by reincarnation777 »

cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:23 pm
reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:20 pm
cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:10 pm Did you have cognitive issues? loss of muscles, fatigue?
Severe fatigue in the beginning yes, consistently low energy even at simple things like walking, it's the only thing that got better on it's own with time. Muscle loss I didn't noticed, perhaps they build up more slowly, but due to the fatigue I had also trained less than before.
And you feel 100% cured by now from one high dose of NSI? crazy..
Yes. The previous (normal) doses did something, but only the overdose finally "rebooted" something. It's like with the people who don't notice anything from low or normal doses of psylocibine, but then suddenly experience improvements or even a cure with a high dose.
cdraham
Posts: 448
Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:39 am
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Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by cdraham »

reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:34 pm
cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:23 pm
reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:20 pm

Severe fatigue in the beginning yes, consistently low energy even at simple things like walking, it's the only thing that got better on it's own with time. Muscle loss I didn't noticed, perhaps they build up more slowly, but due to the fatigue I had also trained less than before.
And you feel 100% cured by now from one high dose of NSI? crazy..
Yes. The previous (normal) doses did something, but only the overdose finally "rebooted" something. It's like with the people who don't notice anything from low or normal doses of psylocibine, but then suddenly experience improvements or even a cure with a high dose.
ok. what about sleep quality and memory loss?
reincarnation777
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 1:04 pm

Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by reincarnation777 »

cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:37 pm
reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:34 pm
cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:23 pm

And you feel 100% cured by now from one high dose of NSI? crazy..
Yes. The previous (normal) doses did something, but only the overdose finally "rebooted" something. It's like with the people who don't notice anything from low or normal doses of psylocibine, but then suddenly experience improvements or even a cure with a high dose.
ok. what about sleep quality and memory loss?
Okay, I realize people have a lot of questions here and I forgot some things, I've only listed the worst symptoms for me, but here's a summary:

- low energy at the beginning
- total anhedonia
- slight derealization
- terrible brain fog
- bad short term memory (NSI improves this even in healthy ones)
- numb penis (erection still possible, but no orgasm because of numbness)
- no libido, essentially completely asexual

To answer your question, my sleep was normal, in fact the first year I slept almost exclusively.
cdraham
Posts: 448
Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:39 am
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Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by cdraham »

reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:43 pm
cdraham wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:37 pm
reincarnation777 wrote: Wed May 19, 2021 3:34 pm

Yes. The previous (normal) doses did something, but only the overdose finally "rebooted" something. It's like with the people who don't notice anything from low or normal doses of psylocibine, but then suddenly experience improvements or even a cure with a high dose.
ok. what about sleep quality and memory loss?
Okay, I realize people have a lot of questions here and I forgot some things, I've only listed the worst symptoms for me, but here's a summary:

- low energy at the beginning
- total anhedonia
- slight derealization
- terrible brain fog
- bad short term memory (NSI improves this even in healthy ones)
- numb penis (erection still possible, but no orgasm because of numbness)
- no libido, essentially completely asexual

To answer your question, my sleep was normal, in fact the first year I slept almost exclusively.
When you woke up, you woke up refreshed or not? Sorry for this questions
silentpain89
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Re: Cured by NSI-189

Unread post by silentpain89 »

Lets not jump fast to conclusions...A lot of ppl here have reported improvements after doing something, only to go back to baseline after a week or two without being able to reproduce the same results....
Im not trying to be negative, but calling yourself cured after having one good day is just crazy.
Please report back after at least 6 weeks have passed.
Last edited by silentpain89 on Wed May 19, 2021 4:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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