Progressive Sex Drive Decrease Starting ~3 years after Lexapro-induced Chronic Depression

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soulalkemy
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Progressive Sex Drive Decrease Starting ~3 years after Lexapro-induced Chronic Depression

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My Story


2015-2016] In 2015 I was struggling with anxiety due to what was likely the onset to OCD, and was Rx'ed Lexapro. After being on Lexapro for 1 month I was stricken with severe depression (symptoms mainly exhaustion and negative thinking). After concluding that it could've been the Lexapro that caused this depression, I stopped taking the med cold turkey, and tried the holistic route for about 6 months med free. The holistic route didn't seem to work and my depression just continued to get worse. I decided to trust psychiatry again and was Rx'ed Wellbutrin and Lamictal.

2016-2020] I was on this Wellburtin + Lamictal from 2016 - 2020 and only struggled with depression about 2-3 days/week (the symptoms were exhaustion and negative thinking) while taking this combo. I was also struggling with OCD which would be more oppressive during some periods and less during others. While on this I felt like I could still function through life and get by, I was dreaming of a future and managed to accomplish goals, ie. get through grad school. I was generally happy even though I had the occasional depression. I was diagnosed as bipolar II given the cyclic nature of the depression. During this period I was also smoking weed nearly every day, and experimented with psychiadelics (psilocybin and LSD) on special occasions. Near the end of this period (maybe in 2018) I started to notice it started getting progressively more difficult to get an erection and my sex drive was lowering. My hormones were fine so I was just prescribed viagra. All psychiatrists I've seen told me it wasn't the medication, as they have been known to not cause sexual side effects (Lamictal) or actually help sex drive (Wellbutrin). I was told to just stop smoking weed and experimenting with psychedelics. I didn't decrease my weed usage, likely due to my whole social life being built off of getting high with friends and using weed as a crutch during sexual situations because it brought my libido back up while it was progressively diminishing. In tandem my rapid cycling depression started to get more and more severe, I started to socially withdraw, I started getting suicidal thoughts, I started to get more and more exhausted.

2020-Present] I was Rx'd Abilify + Wellbutrin + Buspar during the summer of 2020. Stopped taking Lamictal to see if being of it would have a positive change on my sex drive. Buspar was added to help with OCD and possibly help with sex drive. I didn't notice any difference with sex drive while on these drugs, in fact my depression and sex drive were only getting worse. My sex drive continued to diminish and as a result my suicidal thinking increased as well. I was hospitalized due to increasing hopeless thinking in regards to not getting my sex drive back, and I was extremely suicidal and exhausted (nearly vegetative and nonfunctional at this point). I stopped taking all previous medications and the doctors in the hospital prescribed me Zoloft in their place. While starting Zoloft I started researching it online and learned about PSSD. I was on Zoloft for about 1 week before I got horrified of PSSD and asked my psychiatrist to switch me to Mirtazapine, which I am currently on. The Mirtazapine could be helping my depressive symptoms, as I am not longer as suicidal and am more functional (but still get exhausted frequently). However, at present I notice my sex drive is now NEAR ZERO. The sex drive seems to just get worse with time, regardless of what medication I am taking. Now I have noticed that smoking weed doesn't even help my sex drive. I seemed to have hit a new low with no bottom in sight.

Current Analysis


I believe the month worth of Lexapro (and possibly how I cold turkey'd off of it) in 2015 caused a type of brain change in me, as it was the starting point of the depression I cannot seem to get rid of. This condition could or could not be PSSD. It may be related to PSSD. My use of weed and other psychiatric medications after my Lexapro induced depression could have slowly deteriorated my sex drive with the years of use afterward. I haven't been exactly playing it "safe" with my brain by smoking weed daily and occasionally taking psychedelic drugs on "holidays".

Moving Forward

I am going to try to get off the Mirtazapine as it doesn't seem to be helping the sex drive. While it did seem to be helping with the depression initially, it seems to be be getting less and less efficacious, as I do feel the depression getting more and more oppressive and intense as of this day. I am going to try to get on ketamine for the depression and possibly a dopamine agonist to help the sex drive. I am also going to stop smoking weed and stop doing mushrooms/LSD. I will keep this thread updated as I try different things.
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