AnhedonicApe - Intro

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AnhedonicApe
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by AnhedonicApe »

Snake wrote:
AnhedonicApe wrote:I took the betaine again today, do it now everyday, and it didn't really work anymore.I snapped. I thought this shit will never get better, and I can not handle another day of this torture. I walked to the train station to end it all. Stood there for half an hour like a moron, couldn't do it. I feel trapped between not wanting to live anymore and not being able to end it. It feels like pure torture, torn up between two things i can't do. I just can't bring up the energy anymore to endure these miserable days with such a small chance of recovery.
Bro, as long as we're able to be aware of what's happening with us, we are still humans.

“I have to disagree. Death is so final, yet life is full of possibilities.”- After Jamie throws Bran out of the window and puts him in a coma, Cersei tries to hide her annoyance by saying that it would be more of a mercy for the child to die. With his response, Tyrion both manages to annoy Cersei and impart his deep wisdom.

You'll never know what's waiting for us behind the corner, if it's death, then why help it? It will get us one way or another, I'd rather have that in sleep in my late 80s
It's the whole reason why I can't do it. But going on like this, is also impossible for me.
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nasibi
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by nasibi »

@AnhedonicApe
The researchers who did the genome wide study about DNA methylation effects of Citalopram on HEK-293 cells are going to repeat the study on human primary neuronal cells soon. The development of epigenetic drugs is also happening very rapidly. Progress is taking place. Don't be too short sighted. This day will pass.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. :(
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AnhedonicApe
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

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nasibi wrote:@AnhedonicApe
The researchers who did the genome wide study about DNA methylation effects of Citalopram on HEK-293 cells are going to repeat the study on human primary neuronal cells soon. The development of epigenetic drugs is also happening very rapidly. Progress is taking place. Don't be too short sighted. This day will pass.
I have always had an impulsive character. Overly enthusiastic when something works, also overly dissapointed when something stops working. I know what you say is right, but insanity is getting closer everyday. I don't know how to describe it, but i feel driven to insanity. The frustration just makes me do this stuff. I think one day i will snap, but for now, no, still no there yet.
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Snake
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by Snake »

Also the pace of progress on this forum is at the highest level ever. The progress that Mesolimbo made is the biggest one in the history. I've experienced on my own skin - experiment with baclofen proved that PSSD it can be tackled. I felt like a human again for a while. I'm still hopefull and eager to try new things.
Finding a cure is only a matter of time! Never quit!
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AnhedonicApe
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

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Snake wrote:Also the pace of progress on this forum is at the highest level ever. The progress that Mesolimbo made is the biggest one in the history. I've experienced on my own skin - experiment with baclofen proved that PSSD it can be tackled. I felt like a human again for a while. I'm still hopefull and eager to try new things.
I know, he is one of the main reasons i didn't do it. There is still some stuff I should try before deciding this. But when extremely down, it's almost impossible to see this anymore. When I feel like that I can only think of what is lost and how it will probably never come back.
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Meso
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by Meso »

@AnhedonicApe, we are all here to support you, so why give up hope? I seriously believe that curing PSSD is just a matter of time - and I have great hope it can be done.

You know which type of PSSD I suffer from? the most severe complex type, with all symptoms present, and I'm on my way to beat its ass no matter how much self-experimenting it takes. If I can beat the most severe type, then all other types would require simpler treatment plans. I'm not self-experimenting just for my own, but for the benefit of the entire community. And even when I reached 100% symptomatic relief, I still stuck around to help others.

Bro, I know how suicidal ideation feels like. I've attempted suicide several times and almost succeeded twice. I've seen extremely dark days of pure hellish agony, with extreme anhedonia and an extreme sense of despair, but I beat all that and survived, and now I'm experiencing really good days I never would have imagined I'd experience again.

I know how you feel. So trust me when I say that anhedonia and depression CAN be beaten, no matter how long you've been in the gutter. What you are experiencing is chemical despair, so remember that it's just "chemically" induced, and not real. There IS hope. There IS a way out.

Science and knowledge will save us all.
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AnhedonicApe
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by AnhedonicApe »

Mesolimbo wrote:@AnhedonicApe, we are all here to support you, so why give up hope? I seriously believe that curing PSSD is just a matter of time - and I have great hope it can be done.

You know which type of PSSD I suffer from? the most severe complex type, with all symptoms present, and I'm on my way to beat its ass no matter how much self-experimenting it takes. If I can beat the most severe type, then all other types would require simpler treatment plans. I'm not self-experimenting just for my own, but for the benefit of the entire community. And even when I reached 100% symptomatic relief, I still stuck around to help others.

Bro, I know how suicidal ideation feels like. I've attempted suicide several times and almost succeeded twice. I've seen extremely dark days of pure hellish agony, with extreme anhedonia and an extreme sense of despair, but I beat all that and survived, and now I'm experiencing really good days I never would have imagined I'd experience again.

I know how you feel. So trust me when I say that anhedonia and depression CAN be beaten, no matter how long you've been in the gutter. What you are experiencing is chemical despair, so remember that it's just "chemically" induced, and not real. There IS hope. There IS a way out.

Science and knowledge will save us all.
Thanks everyone. Not only do you give great advice on pills, also on this. I know, it's chemical despair. My impulsive character just sometimes pushes me. I also think i took too much betaine, in a rage of hopelessness i took 3 times my normal dosage because it stopped working, i think this high dose made me even more agitated and impulsive. I really appreciate you guys, you seem the only ones that really understand. I will try to keep going.
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Meso
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by Meso »

Betaine is Trimethylglycine (TMG). I dislike it because it's a methly-donor and we should avoid methylating agents in our condition. Also, I suspect that it acts as a full agonist at the NMDA glycine subunit, not a partial agonist. This is why tolerance develops fast and it stops working, and this is why I recommend things like low dose Sarcosine instead.
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AnhedonicApe
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by AnhedonicApe »

Mesolimbo wrote:Betaine is Trimethylglycine (TMG). I dislike it because it's a methly-donor and we should avoid methylating agents in our condition. Also, I suspect that it acts as a full agonist at the NMDA glycine subunit, not a partial agonist. This is why tolerance develops fast and it stops working, and this is why I recommend things like low dose Sarcosine instead.
I suspected this too! Tolerance went up real fast. My sarcosine supplier just messaged me back, they can't deliver within 4 weeks so i have to look for another. Also, will my glycine NMDA receptor restore when i quit the betaine? thanks man.
DrugsAreBad
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Re: AnhedonicApe - Intro

Unread post by DrugsAreBad »

Mesolimbo wrote:
magnilo wrote:im a big fan of vortioxetine pro cognitive effects and i was having an important exam a while back, so i took 9mg spaced over ten days prior to the exam, and ive lost months of progress erection wise. its now been 2 weeks since ive discontinued and the improvement has been minimal...
If you want the improvements to remain, your must look into long-term potentiation. Psilocybin is the most promising agent for that. Ghost and another member have been using it with success.
I'm one of those members. Psilocybin can definitely work.

2-3 days of barely perceptible doses restore a good portion of libido and psychogenic erections. Those effects remain for another 2-3 days after quitting. Unfortunately there is an increase in anhedonia at the very beginning and a micro dosing also gives me hppd which takes several weeks to disappear. Hppd makes experimentation slow because I wait several weeks between trials. For my next attempt I'm planning to take a barely perceptible dose every 3 days.

Hopefully there is a regimen that has positive effects but won't cause hppd. If there is such a regimen, the remaining question is for how long that regimen has to be kept up.

@Mesolimbo: Any idea for how long the regimen should be kept up? And why, so far, positive effects have not been permanent?

@AnhedonicApe: If you haven't tried all the options, you're not done. Stay with us.
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