Depcherry intro - 27F -1.5 years paroxetine-induced PSSD

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depcherry
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Depcherry intro - 27F -1.5 years paroxetine-induced PSSD

Unread post by depcherry »

Hi all! I've been coming on this forum on and off since developping PSSD but never took the time to create a profile. To be honest, I wanted to be able to completely disconnect whenever I wanted so as to not remain constantly preoccupied with PSSD. I intend to keep using this forum punctually but I thought it would be fair to share my experience with you guys as well since I'm benefitting from your openness. I will try to be exhaustive so feel free to skip any part.

Here's my story.

About myself and the treatment I followed:

I'm a 27 y.o. woman from France. Have been suffering from PSSD for 1,5 year.

I was depressed with anxiety issues at the time when I was prescribed paroxetine 20mg (generic version of Paxil) for a bit less than a year from July 2018- end of May 2019.
In January 2019 I talked to my GP about the libido side effects and she advised me to go down to half a dose, which I did until March 2019, but it didn’t change anything for my libido and since I was feeling good we decided that I should stop the treatment so then I very gradually started to taper off the meds until I took only half a pill every 4 days.
So I took my last dose almost a year and a half ago now at the end of May 2019.

Treatment side-effects/PSSD:

Before treatment even though I felt depressed, anxious, had anhedonia and little self-confidence I never had issues with my libido, which I would qualify to be really strong. I was generally very comfortable with my sexuality and very excited about making new experiences.
My symptoms started approx. 2 months after beginning treatment, and as with PSSD, didn't stop after (will developp my current situation later). They were the following:

- loss of sexual desire and natural pulsions
- no interest in the idea of sex generally, even to the point of feeling disgust, not wanting to be touched.
- being straight, difficulty to feel attracted by men
- strong difficulty to feel aroused both mentally and physically, vaginal dryness (inability to have sex without lube)
- inability to fantasize, or think about past sexual events, and experience a mental and physical sexual response
- loss of synch with my own self, I became uninterested in my own body and attractiveness, had a vague feeling I wasn't entirely connected to my self.

One thing I do not experience is anhedonia, and in respect to my symptoms and the knowledge I have of how much worse PSSD can be, I feel like my case is relatively mild. I even fell for the love of my life just about the time I lost my sex drive (such irony!). My relationship has been a tremendous psychological help for me navigating this as my boyfriend is very patient, makes me feel happy, helps me keep hoping, and always has plenty of hope and positivity when I do not. I feel very lucky.

Seeking treatment for PSSD in France:

Family doctor who prescribed me the meds did not believe my story when I told her I still suffered from sexual side effects two months after stopping the treatment. Told me it was impossible beyond half-life of the meds, that it was my depression and did not listen when I reminded her it had never been a symptom of mine. Then told me it must be psychological and that I should try changing partner. Advised that I should go see a psychiatrist which I did.
Guy was...weird, and basically told be the same thing (but refrained from giving me relationship advice at least), by that time the EMA had officially acknowledged PSSD (June 2019) but he didn't want to hear about it. He prescribed me half a dose of Mirtazapine for a month trial as it can apparently help with libido, I only took it for two days, it made me feel extremely tired all day and only furthered my distrust and fear of meds.
I took my chance telling my story to another GP, same reaction all over again.
This week, I saw my current GP (not one of those I mentioned before) for something unrelated, the subject of depression came up and she listened to my story! At first she had the same pov as the other regarding the impossibility of enduring side effects, but she ended up paying attention to what I was saying, I was able to tell her about the EMA publication and she accepted it. She showed compassion and believed me even though she never had a patient report this, which felt good (sigh). She obviously couldn't help me but she recommended I see a psychiatrist at the hospital as according to her they remain more in a research perspective than private psychiatrists. So we'll see about that, I don't expect to have an appointment soon and that this practitioner will believe me or even be able to help me but at least it's a chance to make this condition known and we need it!

How I'm feeling today:

I've slowly but gradually improved over several symptoms. I can't be sure if it's natural recovery or if the supplements I took helped (to be developed later).

- vaginal lubrication: two months after quitting SSRIs it felt only slightly better, but not enough to have sex without lube. It remained the same for several months and then I noticed it gradually improving until I no longer needed lube most times I had sex. Lubrification was improved yet texture was not the same as pre-pssd: very clear and watery and sticky in a weird way.
The last three or four times I had sex, which were in the last 4 months (PSSD rythm...), my lubrication was back to 85% pre-pssd including texture, to be correlated with an improved capacy to become mentally aroused.

- ability to get aroused: during the meds and beginning of PSSD I would be extremely tense and ticklish when trying to have sex, and the idea actually felt very foreign and somewhat disgusting. This feeling and reaction gradually disappeared. Within the last 6 months mainly, I found myself thinking about sex naturally from time to time (maybe once every three weeks to a month), I've had two sexual dreams in the last two months (maybe had four or five since being on the meds and getting pssd), trying to think about past events to get aroused still doesn't work though. I can't really get aroused outside of an immediate sexual context, but when I have sex now upon a vague spontaneous feeling of wanting to (I don't yet have strong pulsions) I am 95% back to pre-pssd arousal, that has been the case the last 3 times I've had sex. If I try to have sex, when I have not even a slight feeling of wanting it, say just for the sake of wanting to ease things for my partner, it fails half of the time as I can't get aroused and lubricate at all which ruins everything since my partner sees I’m sad or at least obviously not into it.

- I noticed a gradual and vague return of feelings of attraction. I can feel attracted to my partner sometimes when things work a bit better than the usual.

- In retrospect, I may be suffering some memory impairment as well, as I've realised over time I forgot too many things I normally would not

What I tried/am trying:

Maca and ginkgo: for at least 6 months, high dosage (don’t remember exactly what, note to self: take notes!), between Nov-March 19-20

Tryptophan depletion protocol for a week in May 2020: didn’t notice any change meaning high serotonin is not a problem for me

Following some advice, I stopped vaping weed 7months ago (I was only a casual consumer then, would not vape more than once a month on average). I hope I'm not sacrificing this for nothing because I do miss having that freedom. While under AD, even though I tried to be careful, I vaped weed on three different occasions during that year, which might have been a big mistake.

Since July: lithium orotate + red Korean ginseng
The first months I took 10mg and 200mg respectively.
Afterwards raised lithium orotate to 25mg and ginseng to 400mg.
I have now been 3 months on that new dosage. I am not sure it is working or not. I have seen some improvements as I’ve described earlier but they come in a windows and waves scheme which is basically what has been going on since the beginning I’ve had pssd. So it could simply be slow, natural recovery. Also if lithium worked I guess I would see a more consistent trend of recovery, like something gradually improving, not this 5 steps forward, then 5-10 steps backwards thing. I don’t know.

My current plan:

- Continuing with my lithium+ginseng plan, at least until February as to reach six full months on it. Reading about lithium it only seems like something that could help not hurt me further. Might add inositol at some point, as I keep reading interesting things about it.

- I. Need. To. Exercise. Like my life depends on it. And stop procrastinating on it. I’m in good shape generally, no overweight issues and I eat fresh homecooked food every day. But the benefits of exercise on brain chemistry have been stressed enough.
I need to combine this with frequent fasting periods, not just the intermittent thing I’m doing by eating dinner early and skipping breakfast, I mean fasting at least a full day, at least once a week. I really think this can be one of our best tools to press the reset button.

- Trying this new psychiatrist. Who knows. Maybe prescription lithium would be a more potent option? It scares me less than buproprion, which I’m thinking about more as a last resort in x years if I’m past hoping a “natural” recovery, but honestly I’m so scared I would end up with worse pssd than I have now, that I leave that option far in the back of my mind.


Thank you for reading and for being part of this forum. Sending you all good thoughts and hope! ♡
27F - PSSD 1,5 years - slowly improving
Since August taking 25mg lithium orotate + 400mg panax ginseng (no clear benefits reported yet)
For more details on my situation, see intro.
We'll get there!
JP1985
Posts: 201
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:11 am
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Re: Depcherry intro - 27F -1.5 years paroxetine-induced PSSD

Unread post by JP1985 »

Hi, how are things going? I’ve just started doing a few of the things you are... exercising regularly, eating better, intermittent fasting, taking panax ginseng, and I’m considering taking lithium orotate but haven’t done yet. Have you had any improvements lately?
Last pill March 2019 - Citalopram for 7 years
Numbed penis and weak orgasm
Fatigue
Slightly blunted
Dizziness (this has improved a lot in the last 6 months)
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