I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

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frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 »

It is now 3 months since I stopped SSRI and I want to make another post with updates, questions, and things I forgot to say. I do not feel any improvement and I am already fed up with this. I know many people have PSSD for years and that is what scares me.

I have 2 kinds of anesthesia. First, inability to properly feel touches. Second, inability to feel existence (weight) of parts of body. It is mostly genital anesthesia: I have 15-20% of feeling of genitals and 80% of feeling of body overall. Genital anesthesia is my only major symptom (not counting some other symptoms caused by this). It is the symptom I would choose to get rid of now if I had to choose.

I don't know if it is shrinkage or ED, but my dick does not extend to its maximum size anymore. It is 0.5 or sometimes maybe 1 inch shorter than it should be (while erect). It is like something is pulling its tip from inside. I guess this is because I am not getting pleasure. Also, I can hardly keep erection longer than 10-15 minutes because of lack of sensitivity. My spontaneous erections are almost non-existent, and I fap very rarely because it is so difficult and pleasureless. I am afraid this all can cause permanent shrinkage.

Orgasms were muted and delayed since I started fluoxetine, now they are not muted and delayed but pleasureless and feel dry, and even peeing does not feel right.

My cognitive abilities are becoming worse over time, I guess. Or maybe it is just my passivity.

I previously said that:
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 3:19 am Currently I am unable to feel happiness but probably that is just normal depression.
But now I believe it is fluoxetine that changed something in my brain and this does not allow me feel pleasure and enjoyment deep inside. I changed my mind because of: period of this; symptoms started before I became depressed because of PSSD.

I have feeling of excess dryness of my brain.

I sometimes feel like a robot whose cameras are placed in places of my body's eyes. I.e. body-brain connection is not full. I continue to sometimes feel like I am sleeping/half-sleeping/dreaming when I am actually awake.

I sometimes have sudden, burning pain in my pelvic floor. Maybe 3 times a week.

Since PSSD started, I frequently have sweating on my palms and under my feet. I didn't have anything like this before.

Meso wrote: Wed Dec 16, 2020 2:14 am Don't take anything to address 'PSSD' because you most likely won't have it with some luck.
Meso, did you mean I won't have PSSD? Don't I already have it? I thought if SSRI has left my blood and symptoms continue, this is PSSD, isn't it?

What is effect of crying on serotonin?

I have seen my doctor one more time and he continued to say ridiculous things. For example:
"Anything that happens in brain is psychological"
"Your problem is caused by Serotonin–norepinephrine shortage"
"You don't have sexual problem, you are simply depressed and obsessed"
Rejected all evidence of PSSD without even looking at them (forums, case reports, animal studies, warning in Prozac's instruction) and continued to say that antidepressant sexual side effects are temporary. Says "I don't work with forums, I work with American Psychiatry Association's book". Blindly trusts one source exclusively, denying absolutely everything else. I suspect he does not look at researches and data at all. (Also I guess PSSD getting recognition of APA would be beneficial.)
Prescribed Paroxetine because I am so depressed! I was already familiar with this scenario but I was still surprised by his ignorance. Obviously I won't take it because it causes PSSD. I will not work with this doctor anymore. For the next month or two, I will be tapering off medications that I am already taking, and I will not take anything for PSSD in that period. After that, if I see improvements, I will continue without taking anything. Otherwise I don't know what I will do. There is a big question mark there.

Is taking no drugs and supplements for PSSD is the best option for me (when I end tapering)? If yes, for how long and are there exceptions to this rule?

What are my chances of recovery?
JustOnlyHope
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by JustOnlyHope »

frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 5:17 am It is now 3 months since I stopped SSRI and I want to make another post with updates, questions, and things I forgot to say. I do not feel any improvement and I am already fed up with this. I know many people have PSSD for years and that is what scares me.

I have 2 kinds of anesthesia. First, inability to properly feel touches. Second, inability to feel existence (weight) of parts of body. It is mostly genital anesthesia: I have 15-20% of feeling of genitals and 80% of feeling of body overall. Genital anesthesia is my only major symptom (not counting some other symptoms caused by this). It is the symptom I would choose to get rid of now if I had to choose.

I don't know if it is shrinkage or ED, but my dick does not extend to its maximum size anymore. It is 0.5 or sometimes maybe 1 inch shorter than it should be (while erect). It is like something is pulling its tip from inside. I guess this is because I am not getting pleasure. Also, I can hardly keep erection longer than 10-15 minutes because of lack of sensitivity. My spontaneous erections are almost non-existent, and I fap very rarely because it is so difficult and pleasureless. I am afraid this all can cause permanent shrinkage.

Orgasms were muted and delayed since I started fluoxetine, now they are not muted and delayed but pleasureless and feel dry, and even peeing does not feel right.

My cognitive abilities are becoming worse over time, I guess. Or maybe it is just my passivity.

I previously said that:
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 3:19 am Currently I am unable to feel happiness but probably that is just normal depression.
But now I believe it is fluoxetine that changed something in my brain and this does not allow me feel pleasure and enjoyment deep inside. I changed my mind because of: period of this; symptoms started before I became depressed because of PSSD.

I have feeling of excess dryness of my brain.

I sometimes feel like a robot whose cameras are placed in places of my body's eyes. I.e. body-brain connection is not full. I continue to sometimes feel like I am sleeping/half-sleeping/dreaming when I am actually awake.

I sometimes have sudden, burning pain in my pelvic floor. Maybe 3 times a week.

Since PSSD started, I frequently have sweating on my palms and under my feet. I didn't have anything like this before.

Meso wrote: Wed Dec 16, 2020 2:14 am Don't take anything to address 'PSSD' because you most likely won't have it with some luck.
Meso, did you mean I won't have PSSD? Don't I already have it? I thought if SSRI has left my blood and symptoms continue, this is PSSD, isn't it?

What is effect of crying on serotonin?

I have seen my doctor one more time and he continued to say ridiculous things. For example:
"Anything that happens in brain is psychological"
"Your problem is caused by Serotonin–norepinephrine shortage"
"You don't have sexual problem, you are simply depressed and obsessed"
Rejected all evidence of PSSD without even looking at them (forums, case reports, animal studies, warning in Prozac's instruction) and continued to say that antidepressant sexual side effects are temporary. Says "I don't work with forums, I work with American Psychiatry Association's book". Blindly trusts one source exclusively, denying absolutely everything else. I suspect he does not look at researches and data at all. (Also I guess PSSD getting recognition of APA would be beneficial.)
Prescribed Paroxetine because I am so depressed! I was already familiar with this scenario but I was still surprised by his ignorance. Obviously I won't take it because it causes PSSD. I will not work with this doctor anymore. For the next month or two, I will be tapering off medications that I am already taking, and I will not take anything for PSSD in that period. After that, if I see improvements, I will continue without taking anything. Otherwise I don't know what I will do. There is a big question mark there.

Is taking no drugs and supplements for PSSD is the best option for me (when I end tapering)? If yes, for how long and are there exceptions to this rule?

What are my chances of recovery?

Hi! I would like you help you but I’m in the same shitty hole as you. You said one interesting thing about sleeping. I’ve got one weird symptom. I don’t have a problem with sleeping however I don’t feel „heavy eyelids” at all. It’s like I fall a sleep but when I wake up I’m totally ready to get up, don’t feel “sand in my eyes” I hope you understand what I’m saying. Is there antibody who knows what it can be? As I said I sleep well, it’s not insomnia.
Thomas
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by Thomas »

JustOnlyHope wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 9:13 am Hi! I would like you help you but I’m in the same shitty hole as you. You said one interesting thing about sleeping. I’ve got one weird symptom. I don’t have a problem with sleeping however I don’t feel „heavy eyelids” at all. It’s like I fall a sleep but when I wake up I’m totally ready to get up, don’t feel “sand in my eyes” I hope you understand what I’m saying. Is there antibody who knows what it can be? As I said I sleep well, it’s not insomnia.
Well, I would say it is a "good" or "normal" thing, rather than a "weird symptom". I would love to have this "symptom".
I wake up every day at 3am (2-3 hours of sleep) "totally ready to get up". I usually manage to fall asleep again until 6am, again "totally ready to get up". If I take something to sleep (for instance, hydroxyzine), I would sleep 5-6 hours in a row and wake up... totally NOT ready to get up for at least one hour.
Escitalopram, 10mg/day, Jan-May 2019. Fluoxetine, May-Sept 2019. Mirtazapine, November 2019-January 2020. Escitalopram, Feb-May 2020.
Symptoms: low libido | sexual numbness | insomnia
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 »

JustOnlyHope wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 9:13 am
Thomas wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 10:22 am
1) JustOnlyHope, what I described as my symptom is typically called derealisation. As for your symptom, I am not sure if I have similar one.

2) Please do not flood my intro topic with discussion of your own symptoms.
Last edited by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 on Wed Jan 20, 2021 4:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
JustOnlyHope
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by JustOnlyHope »

frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 1:54 am
JustOnlyHope wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 9:13 am
Thomas wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 10:22 am
1) JustOnlyHope, what I described as my symptom is typically called derealisation. As for your symptom, I am not sure if I have similar one.

2) Please do not flood my intro topic with discussion of your own symptoms. My last post (very long one) was this: viewtopic.php?p=39536#p39536. Any relevant responses are appreciated.
Sure, we won’t talk about my symptoms here . Regarding derealization, what exactly you feel? I have too, I feel emptiness, “silence around me”, don’t feel a time, don’t feel a feelings to my close friends, family etc. do you have the same or more, less?
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 »

JustOnlyHope wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 2:30 am Sure, we won’t talk about my symptoms here . Regarding derealization, what exactly you feel? I have too, I feel emptiness, “silence around me”, don’t feel a time, don’t feel a feelings to my close friends, family etc. do you have the same or more, less?
Yes, sometimes I do not feel humans as humans, it feels like they are robots or a movie images. I do not see any other common points between our symptoms. What disturbs me most is sexual dysfunctions.
JustOnlyHope
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by JustOnlyHope »

Did you have some window already? Did you take some drug which help for a while?
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 »

JustOnlyHope wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 3:01 am Did you have some window already? Did you take some drug which help for a while?
No. No.
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 »

JustOnlyHope wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 9:13 am Hi! I would like you help you but I’m in the same shitty hole as you. You said one interesting thing about sleeping. I’ve got one weird symptom. I don’t have a problem with sleeping however I don’t feel „heavy eyelids” at all. It’s like I fall a sleep but when I wake up I’m totally ready to get up, don’t feel “sand in my eyes” I hope you understand what I’m saying. Is there antibody who knows what it can be? As I said I sleep well, it’s not insomnia.
I think I have that symptom, too. Probably didn't have when you previously asked. And sleep is not satisfying.
frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8
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Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2020 3:13 am
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Re: I think I am having PSSD, can anybody give advice?

Unread post by frhfu398hhf9hf3hf8 »

It is now 6 months since I stopped and nothing has improved at all, and maybe even worsened. Meanwhile I have found some standard form for writing intros, and decided to use it. I actually do not know how writing this might help, just writing it for reference, just in case. I am completely desperate and hopeless, and I am afraid my PSSD will never go away while I am living.

1. What is your gender?
Male.

2. Why did you take antidepressants in the first place? And for how long were you on them? Which med?
I was visiting psychiatrist after starting taking quetiapine when I had severe insomnia long ago. My only psychiatry-related compaint was the fact that I could not sleep without it and naively hoped that doctor might help to get off safely. My next stupid mistake was to tell the psychiatrist that I had headaches (in July 2020) and he put me on Venlafaxine and Propranolol. I thought "he is a doctor after all, maybe he knows something that I do not know" which was false, because this not only did not help but also I literally felt like Venlafaxine has disabled the frontal part of my brain, and I could not have erection at all. I also felt that Venlafaxine could permanently disable a part of my brain. This is while I was on the drug! I had taken many drugs before but never felt like this. And I did not know such things were documented somewhere. This was kinda intuitive feeling. So I stopped it (after ~10 days) and everything came back to normal (or maybe 90% normal, idk). I also told the doctor about it and he said there is no such thing. And I started to believe what I thought was a delusion (it wasn't). This time (in October) I made a similar stupid mistake and told the doctor that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It had this since long ago, and it was mild most of the time, but it was severe at that period. And doctor told me that this is because I have some redundant substance in my nerves (???) and put me on Fluoxetine and Risperidone. Also told me taper off Quetiapine (taper was too fast). I also went to another doctor and told him about CFS and he prescribed some supplements (vitamin D, Q10, methylfolate, Mg) and I started to take all this stuff (the deadly combination) simultaneously. I took Fluoxetine for 12 days, other things for longer.

3. How was your sexual and emotional function before antidepressant intake?
Completely normal. I could not even imagine complaining about things that I am complaining now. I was happy enough (compared to this shit), expecting that things are going to get great very soon, had a lot of hope and wished to live a long life (now I am suicidal).

4. What are your symptoms exactly and when did they start? Sexual dyfunction alone, or cognitive/emotional/hedonistic as well? Which symptom is bothering you the most?
While on this combination, I could get erection without problem. There was some genital numbing and delayed, completely muted orgasm. Feeling on penis was absolutely not like before but still present. Around days 7-10 numbness became too bad and I stopped Fluoxetine after day 12. I also "did not feel right" but could not characterise this with some symptom. The numbness was not going away and I initially hoped that this is because of fluoxetine's long half life but after 15-20 days without it seeing numbness does not go away I realized that symptoms are persistent, and I discovered the word PSSD. Seeing the "success stories" list made me realize that "success" with PSSD isn't the norm, and most PSSD cases, especially with all symptoms, are permanent. The fact that I am still not seeing any improvement in 6 months mark confirms this. My symptoms are the following:
  • Genital numbness. I noticed this since starting the drug but it very gradually got worse. Not only erogenous but also tactile feeling on penis is absent (with possible exception of some very small sensitive points). I can only feel itching and temperature to some (lower) degree.
  • I could have erection with PSSD but it was very difficult to have and impossible to keep for long or get any pleasure from it. That is why I practically do not have erection currently, but the reason is mainly the lack of sensitivity. Also there is some shrinkage.
  • Orgasm is pleasureless and feels like 10-15% of what it was. Even peeing does not feel normal.
  • I am not sure about this symptom but I think there is some testicle shrinkage, watery sperm and reduced amount of semen.
  • Libido was initially normal but slowly dropped close to zero, close to the point of being asexual. But I am not sure if this is a separate symptom, it might be consequence of absent genital feeling + part of general anhedonia, but I feel like even if we remove those symptoms it will not be exciting like before.
  • Numb body. Not only tactile sensation has been significantly reduced but also my parts of body do not feel like parts of me anymore. My head, face, inside my mouth, sometimes legs and arms, the whole area around genitals. Like they do not exist. My eyelids also feel like absent, i.e. I might feel like they are open while they are actually closed. Same for my mouth. Feeling of weight of objects is much reduced, when I hold something light in my hand I cannot feel its weight at all. Also feeling of taste is less than half of what it was before.
  • Derealization, depersonalization. These might be partially caused by body numbness, partially by the trauma of realizing I have PSSD, or something like part of my brain is sleeping all the time. I noticed numb body, dr/dp after realizing that I have PSSD.
  • Emotional numness, anhedonia, cognitive dysfunction. I actually do not remember how it was while I was on drug but after coming off but before knowing I have PSSD I laughed once, and it was kind of an empty laugh. My mouth was moving and that was all. I could not feel it in my brain. Since then I do not remember having a positive emotion or sense of satisfaction even once. Initially when I got PSSD I could cry almost normally but over time it turned to complete inability to cry, I sometimes attempt to cry but I cannot, and anhedonia has got worse in recent months. I cannot have pleasure from anything at all. I cannot watch TV/YouTube, cannot play video games, cannot enjoy walking or music, even pleasure from food is like 10% of what it was. I cannot really relax to enjoy anything, I am always kind of tense and thinking about PSSD. I have no motivation, no imagination, no fantasies of any kind, no ability to work, no ability to think clearly and speak fluently, and sometimes feel like I have cognition of a 70 year old man. The best description of how I feel is not to tell symptoms one by one, but to say that I feel LOBOTOMIZED. Like a part of my brain is taken away from me, and my consciousness is incomplete...
The symptom which bothers me most. I would say the lack of feeling. This includes several things, mental and physical, and choosing one would be too few in my opinion.

5. What meds/suppplements have you tried so far? And for how long each?
After getting PSSD I went to doctor and told him about the problem and gave a change to fix it, he prescribed aripiprazole and quetiapine (again) and stopped risperidone. Because I could not sleep well. I took aripiprazole for a month or two, then stopped. It had no effect at all. I am still taking quetiapine unfortunately. I am trying inositol and currently cannot feel any benefit for PSSD.

6. Do you have access to meds without prescription (buy online), or would strictly require a prescription for meds to try?
I haven't explored this yet, maybe other members can help to understand the situation in this regard.

7. Can you tolerate garlicky foods? What about proteins?
Yes. Yes.

8. Have you done any blood testing? What were the results?
I have done one extensive blood testing before getting PSSD and everything was fine. Also testosterone was tested several years ago and it was in high end of range.
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