Slay Introduction

[Slay]

Hello, my name is Slay. I have had sertraline induced PSSD for 8 months now. I was first placed on sertraline at 14 for PO-OCD. My first psychiatrist had some consideration and put me on a low dosage because of my age, but didn’t specifically say why. I was prescribed 25 mg of sertraline and told to start with half and that if more was needed I could take the whole 25. I didn’t notice anything at first as I was not having sex at the time and the dosages were low; however, I developed gynecomastia around this time. I found that it was relatively common at my age and normally goes away within a year or 2 during adolescence, so I wasn’t concerned. I wound up stopping the medication for awhile as I didn’t notice any difference. Some time passed and my counselor advised me to see another psychiatrist as I was still having some anxiety problems. The second psychiatrist I saw prescribed me sertraline again and told me he had found research on my specific condition showing that only higher dosages of ssris are effective for it. He prescribed me 100 mg of sertraline and told me it would be safe and effective. I started taking the tabs; and, over the course of several months, still didn’t notice any difference in my symptoms. My psychiatrist assured me that this drug was safe and effective for intrusive thoughts in high dosages, so responded to this by doubling it to 200 mg. By this time I had taken ssris off and on for years told that it would work for this condition if I continued to take it. I was still young at the time and had never had sex before, which is why the sexual side effects went mostly unnoticed during this time. Once I had been on the 200 mg for a week or so, I began ritualistically grabbing my genitals to make sure they were still there. It was as if I there was a void in between my legs. I hadn’t immediately recognized that the medication I was taking was responsible for this effect. I had finally met a girl that I liked around that time and was planning on going further both emotionally and physically. I soon realized that achieving that would be impossible. Sex felt like absolutely nothing and I didn’t know why at first. I found out that ssris greatly decrease sex drive and was relieved to find out what my problem was. The sertraline never seemed to work and was getting in the way of my happiness, so I immediately began tapering and told my psychiatrist about the problem. He admitted that it has this effect, but mentioned nothing about persisting effects. The first few weeks coming off of sertraline I noticed a considerable difference. I could get erections a little faster and my genitals felt as if they could “breathe” a little more; however, it hadn’t returned anywhere near where it was back when I was 14 and hadn’t taken the sertraline yet. Once I reached the two month mark I became extremely concerned. I quickly found out about PSSD after doing research. It drove me absolutely insane when I realized how common PSSD actually was and that doctors are not required to warn about any of these effects. I became so angry when I realized that people who recover from pssd usually still have residual effects for the rest of their life. I couldn’t even have a single relationship before this happened. It is frustrating knowing that I may not recover, and that even if I do recover, I will still most likely not be 100% the same ever again in terms of sensitivity. I wish I could’ve experienced sex with at least one person before this happened To add icing on the cake, the physical affection I got from the girl I was beginning to form a relationship with was more effective for my anxiety than probably anything else I have ever experienced, but having PSSD of this level makes a relationship much more difficult if not impossible entirely. I’m at a loss. I can only hope that I will be a one in a million lucky bastard and go 100% back to normal with absolutely no residual traces of PSSD. I hope that this is a dream, and that I will wake up at 14 again knowing not to swallow that horse shit. After I found all of this out, I spoke to all my friends that had taken ssris. Normally people won’t speak about this; however, they were open about it because I shared my experience. I can confirm that 3 out of the 4 friends I spoke with had a similar experience to mine. Although their symptoms are more benign than mine, it would still classify as PSSD. I then realized the fundamental problem with PSSD being unknown by most. The problem being that it is very prevelant, yet it is extremely underreported. Not sure where I will go from here. Considering university so that I can actively work for a cure or at least treatment that is much more effective than the current remedies. I wish you all good luck on your recovery, and will continue to be active against this injustice towards the “mentally ill”.

[raven100]

Hi Slay, your story connects me with a lot as I started dating my first serious girlfriend soon before developing PSSD, by the time she was ready to have sex I wasn't able to enjoy it. I spent many many months agonising about my condition, and the experiences I felt I had missed out on with the first girl I had loved. That feels like the natural thing to do when suffering with our condition, but ultimately all it did for me was to create a very negative psychological association with sex on top of PSSD.

The thing to do now is to look forward, step by step, and work your way towards recovery. We have seen a lot of success stories: https://pssdlab.wordpress.com/recoveries-2016-2020/ and more come in all the time. Do check out this thread if you haven't already, it may help you with mapping out the steps you want to take: http://www.pssdforum.com/viewtopic.php? ... 81&p=25774

[Blueturtle]

Hey slay

I’m sorry you are going through this. I got PSSD at a young age as well, I was 14 when I was first put on SSRI’s

I can say that if you hold on there things will honestly get better. I promise. I’ve been through some pretty hellish stuff myself and it honestly does get better when you push through the bad stuff.

There are many things that may be of help to your PSSD, it seems like you’re still relatively early in your condition’s state at 8 months, it may clear up by itself in awhile. Here is a valuable thread about suggested procedures to treat your PSSD.

http://www.pssdforum.com/viewtopic.php? ... aws#p25730

Feel free to ask people for help, people are here for you and there are a lot of good reasons to be optimistic.

[Cobalt.blue]

"I wish I could’ve experienced sex with at least one person before this happened " same here althought i was near 22 when i got it, fucking stict upbringing had destroyed my sex life before PSSD. I regret i didn't have my first sex the latest at the age of 15.

[Ghost]

Sorry to meet you like this, but welcome to the forum!

Glad to have you here, friend