How do you make someone fall in love with you if you can’t feel anything for them?

[marybanana]

Is it possible to just play your cards right despite having no emotions, flirtatious feelings, or sexuality and make an interested guy fall in love with your numb, anhedonic self? The issue here is that PSSD obviously affects ability to connect with others emotionally and be properly social. I have a dilemma that I need to get married before I pass the age when I’m no longer desirable, so I’m going to need to get a guy to fall in love with me while I have PSSD, even though I wouldn’t even have a fleeting romantic feeling for him.

[AnhedonicApe]

Is it possible to just play your cards right despite having no emotions, flirtatious feelings, or sexuality and make an interested guy fall in love with your numb, anhedonic self? The issue here is that PSSD obviously affects ability to connect with others emotionally and be properly social. I have a dilemma that I need to get married before I pass the age when I’m no longer desirable, so I’m going to need to get a guy to fall in love with me while I have PSSD, even though I wouldn’t even have a fleeting romantic feeling for him.

U should look for a guy who is also not interested in love.

[nasibi]

Kind of tricky situation. Would it be fair to the man?

[raven100]

Personally knowing now what I do I couldn't date someone who was numb as I rather selfishly want to be loved even though I'm not going to offer as much in return, but in the past I've been absolutely captivated by girls who could have easily been pretty emotionless. People who haven't experienced numbness don't really have a reference point for it. Most important thing is finding someone you can be honest about this stuff with.

[been_too_long]

Its really simple. You show them attention and fake the love back. Really that simple. Best relationship Ive had in my life was found after PSSD.

[alteredhomeostasis]

In my experience people tend to want you more when you don’t show them much love.
My girlfriend of 4 years told me she loved me a week after we met and I was still not sure I wanted to date her at the time

[TalkingAnt]

I'm not very experienced in this but am going down this path now- that is, the cultivation of compassion. Many people have used a meditation style called "metta" to strengthen feelings of compassion towards themselves and others. People whom are adept meditators tend to feel less of a pull towards material desires like sex and romantic attraction, because they have cultivated an inner peace/happiness and therefore are content "just being," without an itch to constantly scratch via fulfilling material desires. Metta serves as a replacement for sex/romance, particularly for these people whom are in relationships. A person with strong metta would appear to have a kind of genuine wholesome love, a wishing of wellbeing in others and in particular their partner. They can still enjoy sex but the enjoyment comes less from a desire for their own physical pleasure and more from an enjoyment of benefiting their partner/the relationship.

It takes a lot of practice (meditation) to cultivate metta but people have made serious progress within a year if they practice diligently.

I am interested in this path because it seems like a way to make my life more fulfilling given that I may never return 100% to pre-PSSD state. I already have low ability for romance/love, so metta seems like a good option. Given what I know about meditation now, I would probably still pursue it even if I did become 100% cured. I am optimistic about pharmacological cures for PSSD but this is just another path to explore in parallel.

I know this stuff can sound pseudosciency and "woo woo." Don't take anyone's word for it, do your own research and only trust your own experience. Worst case, it doesn't do anything for you and you "wasted" some hours of your life relaxing during meditation. Best case, you end up with a much more content and happy life. Don't get caught up in the spiritual stuff. Meditation doesn't require any particular spiritual beliefs. Personally, I am a scientific naturalist so I don't believe in a soul, reincarnation, powers, etc. But I think there is a good chance one can reprogram one's psychology with various meditation techniques and find people's personal experiences with them to be credible.

[jjr81]

Why do you want a fake, sexless relationship? I'm just curious.

[Lost]

One and a half month into my first realationship i stopped lexapro, and have pssd since. I fake emotions for her (but i know they're exist, i just cant feel them), and she's understands my state. Why she's staying? I really dont know, on to be honest, dont really care. I dont have the lust, or the charm i had towards women, but i know that if im good enough for her,even with this condition, she's good enough for me.

[marybanana]

Why do you want a fake, sexless relationship? I'm just curious.

Because I’m terrified of being alone for the rest of my life. With no friends or relationships I’m pretty much nothing, and especially now that I have no emotions or social energy, both of those things are very difficult to achieve