Kat Intro- please help.

[katthecap]

Hi there, long time lurker, first time poster.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if I have PSSD or not.

Background: I’ve been on Fluoxentine on and off for 10 years. I finally got off last year in March of 2023. I’ve been on a couple other drugs, lorazepam, hydroxyzine, seroquel, and most currently buspirone. For the majority of these, I have not been on long term like fluoxetine.

My story: My Mom passed away last April after I’d finished tapering off fluoxetine. I was still on lorazepam PRN. And I’d had no issues on fluoxetine except maybe a little drop in libido and arousal but nothing major. In September, after having a massive panic attack where I wanted to stop taking lorazepam, my psychiatrist suggested either to keep on the lorazepam or try buspirone. I decided to try buspirone, as I’d heard it didn’t have sexual side effects and it seemed to be well liked in this community. (The reason I got off fluoxetine in the first place was it had stopped working and I found out of the potential of pssd.)


Well, buspirone wasn’t working by itself, so I ended up adding hydroxyzine to try and combat my anxiety as well. At the most, I took 30mg of each, but my dosages were 15-20mg (I was mostly at 20) on buspirone and 10mg x2 day PRN of hydroyxzine.


So after having another stressful time in December and having to go back on to the lorazepam because I couldn’t take hydroxyzine while I was sick, I decided to stop taking the lorazepam. I jumped off fairly quickly, but I went through the withdrawal fairly well. Or so I thought.


In January I realized hydroxyzine and buspar were not doing anything for me, so I decided to taper off. I went down from 20mg of Buspirone to 15mg and stayed there for two weeks. I was doing fine except for a lot of anxiety. I decided to taper off hydroxyzine as well. I went from 10 to 7.5mg and stayed there. At the time, I was also taking claritin as well (since it and hydroxyzine have different methods of action) and I was taking a lot of melatonin (probably 9 mg in 24 hours) to try and help me sleep and get me through the anxiety. Personally I probably would have just gone off hydroxyzine, but I was concerned about withdrawals that I tried tapering. I saw on another forum that benadryl could help with tapering off hydroxyzine.

So I bought a children’s package of benadryl. I didn’t even take anything over 25mg, which is a standard adult dosage. I also took some align pre-probiotic gummies and some magnesium glycine/glutimate (??) and occasionally citrate.

I also was taking fish oil under the guidance of my psychiatrist. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with fish oil.


Right, so on Saturday, January 27th, I noticed that my appetite was gone. And I don’t mean like in the sense of I’ve lost my appetite, I mean the sensation of hunger was gone. Which I know happens with PSSD. But it wasn’t just my hunger, my fullness cue was gone too. It was like I couldn’t feel my stomach at all. My mind would tell me it was hungry but my body didn’t say anything. (This has also stopped.) I had vague nausea, but it wasn’t like I could feel anything in my stomach. And my emotions were starting to fade away. I had anxiety very badly, but the other ones were just gone.

And then I tapered down my buspirone again to 12.5mg. I’m not sure if that’s what triggered it, but I had arm pain, tremors, and I still couldn’t sleep. My fingers burned at one point but I thought it was the anxiety. I was only on this dosage for 2 days before tapering back up to 15mg. But then I started to notice my temperature sensation and other pain was disappearing by the day. Even the nausea and slight pain in my lower abdomen. It was just as if everything suddenly disappeared. I had gone to my GP to talk about my heart rate and blood pressure and he upped my long time prescription of metoprolol. (I’ve been on that for 8 years.)

I also tried taking 20mg of hydroxyzine to see if it would help me eat or sleep. They gave me zofran for nausea, and I took maybe 3 during this time.

Somehow I figured this might be pssd because many lose their thirst/hunger as I did. I mean, I didn’t know before this, but I instinctively knew somehow. I also stopped feeling temperatures and blood flow too. (There is more but it’s not important) I don’t know if this is psychosomatic on my part, or if it’s the real deal. Personally I could give a shit about the sexual aspects, I was more worried for my partner than for me. But the hunger, thirst lack of stomach sensation and emotion (and lack of sleep) is what does it for me. Because I’ll be honest, I feel like if this doesn’t clear up, I’m not going to make it through this. Whether that be through the lack of eating or sleeping or if it gets so bad… suicide. (Which I really don’t want to do.)It’s just this is not healthy and it’s not living.

I keep going over in my head what I know- buspar has way too short half life to make a huge impact (I assume- it’s also not an ssri), and hydroxyzine is antisertonigic to begin with. And I didn’t even take a large dosage of benadryl to begin with. (I mean literally it was 25mg each time, which is one standard adult dosage.) I don’t know if the claritin or the probiotics did anything, but you wouldn’t think so, right? I don’t know what’s could have caused this reaction over 13 days unless I tapered hydroxyzine or buspar too quickly, but I don’t feel like I did.

I’m concerned that I’m stuck like this forever now and I’m honestly thinking of taking wellbutrin to see if that does anything at all. (And yes I know, that causes pssd too, and probably will do shit.) I’ve taken fish oil, magnesium citrate, and ginkgo and claritin to see if that does anything (I know they do things for the sexual side effects, but who knows on the cognitive effects. I really just don’t understand how children’s benadryl or a taper could cause this. Or fluoxetine, since I hadn’t taken it since March of 2023 and I’d assume my receptors would have gone back to normal by then.

And before someone says SIBO or SFN- literally how could that happen over the course of 13 days- and also I got tested for H. Pylori before and it came back clean. Anyway, do you guys have any advice for me?

(And I’m STILL on buspar. (15mg) The hydroxyzine I stopped taking but didn’t notice any difference in symptoms.)


I just don’t understand how buspirone or hydroxyzine could have caused this, or even such a small dosage of benadryl, only taken twice. From what I understand and have read from these forums is that hydroxyzine and buspirone are relatively safe. (And trust me, I have looked through these forums and reddit to find any mention of buspirone or hydroxyzine causing this.) And I truly don’t think fluoxetine had anything to do with it, since it’s been some time since I was off and I’d taken anthisimines with ssri properties before. And it couldn’t be seroquel because I only took that very briefly in 2017 for a few months.

I am on an antibiotic for an infection, but that was after going to the emergency room on Monday. (Where I was given more benadryl, but still I don’t think that had anything to do with it either.)

I don’t know what to do or how this could have happened.

[katthecap]

I'd also like to point out that I continuously keep getting worse. I've tried reinstating my buspar to the former levels and even taking the level of hydroxyzine that I had been taking previously. I know we don't know what causes PSSD- but I still don't understand what is going on and I really would love to fix this in the best way that I can. (And quickly. And yes, I know, this takes time.) I feel literally emptiness inside at all times and I don't understand what could have triggered this bad of a reaction- not only that, but I'm still technically on the medication too. I feel like wellbutrin might help, and I do have some L-Dopa supplements on the way as well as ginseng. What I also don't understand is the stomach sensation lacking as well, I mean, most of you guys still have gastrointestinal issues, right? Or at the very least you can tell when your stomach is full.

Seriously dudes, I do not want to die from not eating, sleeping or drinking.

[katthecap]

Well. My psychiatrist is at a loss. She’s referring me to a neurologist because she can’t explain my symptoms at all. She doesn’t know how a dosage of buspirone 15mg could cause a complete lack of emotion. And I don’t mean like blunting, I mean I want to feel emotion but I cannot. At all. So she’s prescribed me with wellbutrin. Hopefully that does something, if not, well, I’m shit out of luck.

[Determined-Mind]

Yes, 15 mg of buspirone is quite light. You've been taking a lot of different medications at the same time (hydroxyzine, Benadryl, melatonin) Maybe it's the combination and/or the changes and/or the whole thing interacting with stress.

For anxiety, you may have success with bupropion, or bupropion+buspirone. For me, both have helped.

On the other hand, bupropion tends to suppress the desire to eat.

In short, don't panic. Take it one step at a time. Everything we feel (or don't feel) reflects the activation/deactivation of processes in our nervous system.

I've taken drugs/plants that suppress hunger, others that make you hungry, some that make you tired, others that give you energy.

Be careful with mixtures.

[katthecap]

Yes, 15 mg of buspirone is quite light. You've been taking a lot of different medications at the same time (hydroxyzine, Benadryl, melatonin) Maybe it's the combination and/or the changes and/or the whole thing interacting with stress.

For anxiety, you may have success with bupropion, or bupropion+buspirone. For me, both have helped.

On the other hand, bupropion tends to suppress the desire to eat.

In short, don't panic. Take it one step at a time. Everything we feel (or don't feel) reflects the activation/deactivation of processes in our nervous system.

I've taken drugs/plants that suppress hunger, others that make you hungry, some that make you tired, others that give you energy.

Be careful with mixtures.

To be fair, I only took benadryl like twice. And melatonin… yeah, probably melatonin didn’t help. Hydroxyzine though… Why would that have caused this? It’s an antiserotonogic drug? Maybe 5th2a was desensitized from taking it too much?? I honestly do not know.

And I do mean I literally can’t feel any emotion at all even though I want to. It’s like there’s this weird empty space there. I don’t know what to do. This isn’t like emotional blunting or numbing. I just want to feel something.

[Determined-Mind]

I'm not saying that hydroxyzine caused this, I'm just saying that by mixing different substances, unexpected effects can occur.

Several solutions can be opted for to rectify the situation: taking bupropion is one, taking a mixture of bupropion and buspirone is another, taking magnesium theronate or dopa mucuna as well.

In short, there are many possible solutions, but one thing's for sure: nobody on earth knows what's happened to you and what treatment you need to feel better.

All you have to do is try things out, observe how your body reacts, adapt your treatment according to your observations/needs and be patient.

PS: To help me sleep, I take 500 mg arginine/250 mg l-citruline and 1g glycine. Magnesium is also known to help sleep and can help with mood/anxiety. It seems that magnesium threonate is the most bioavailable and stimulates neuroplasticity.

I'm telling you this, in case it helps, and because these elements could also help you recover, without necessarily interacting too much with drug treatments, like bupropion if you're taking that.

Direct your mind to possible solutions. Try, observe, wait.

Be careful when mixing substances: sometimes it's for the best, sometimes it's not. No one knows in advance.

[katthecap]

I'm not saying that hydroxyzine caused this, I'm just saying that by mixing different substances, unexpected effects can occur.

Several solutions can be opted for to rectify the situation: taking bupropion is one, taking a mixture of bupropion and buspirone is another, taking magnesium theronate or dopa mucuna as well.

In short, there are many possible solutions, but one thing's for sure: nobody on earth knows what's happened to you and what treatment you need to feel better.

All you have to do is try things out, observe how your body reacts, adapt your treatment according to your observations/needs and be patient.

PS: To help me sleep, I take 500 mg arginine/250 mg l-citruline and 1g glycine. Magnesium is also known to help sleep and can help with mood/anxiety. It seems that magnesium threonate is the most bioavailable and stimulates neuroplasticity.

I'm telling you this, in case it helps, and because these elements could also help you recover, without necessarily interacting too much with drug treatments, like bupropion if you're taking that.

Direct your mind to possible solutions. Try, observe, wait.

Be careful when mixing substances: sometimes it's for the best, sometimes it's not. No one knows in advance.

I was told that getting off all the drugs would help and to not take any substances for some time. I even contacted Dr. Healy and Dr. Josef for help. I really feel like I might actually die from this.

I did try and take dopa and I’m taking magnesium citrate/glyniate (?) and fish oil and gingko too. (Probably not a good idea.)

Started taking wellbutrin today too.