Hoping the PSSD forum can help, or point in the right direction…..so here is my story.
I’m a 38 year gay guy who has not had sex in nearly 3 years, 2 of which I have been clear of any SSRI medication. I’m relatively fit, exercise 3-4 times a week (Yoga, HiiT, Body Pump), eat pretty well, non-smoker, no casual drugs, maybe drink a little too much on occasion, but overall have a pretty good life balance.
I previously took Sertraline for approx 18 months to deal with crippling depression which seemed to do the trick and stopped my brain from killing me……however what I didn’t bank on what appears to be a permanently lowered libido and listless, pleasure less orgasms which has left my sex-life in tatters and relationship on the brink. Whilst I could feel my libido decreasing a little before I took anti-depressants, my ability to enjoy sex and my performance was undiminished. Now I masturbate occasionally, but I cannot remember the last time I achieved a satisfactory orgasm or shot anything more than a dribble of semen.
Whilst my boyfriend (of 5 years) and I remain tactile, I have shunned away from anything more than cuddling, because the thought of foreplay and intimacy leaves me feeling pretty dreadful, because that sets an expectation of having sex and sex is no longer enjoyable. If I park my own feelings for the moment, the knock-on effect for my boyfriend is equally damaging as he questions his own esteem, attractiveness etc. The old cliché, “it’s not you, it’s me” has never felt more apt, but how do you even begin to address something like this?
Well I tried……
• Full endocrinology test. Testosterone levels in line with male average
• Prescription for Viagra – thanks Doc, I can reach an OK erection, but have little interest in doing fun things with it.
• Kegel exercises without trying to give yourself a hernia
• Masturbation and experimenting with edging techniques - no noticeable difference in intensity of orgasm
• Appointment with Sex Therapy Counsellor - not a great experience, little empathy or understanding of what I was trying to convey.
The medical and psychological approaches I have taken have not been successful.
I miss my sexuality, I fear for my relationship and feel at a crossroads with what to do next.
However, I am keeping an open-mind and am glad to have found the PSSD forum. Maybe together we can help more people recognise and treat this crippling condition.
Has anyone had success overcoming anything like this?
Thanks for reading
