Why I Still Believe

[YoungWill]

Hello Everyone,

I am writing this post because I wanted to share the reason I still believe we can recover. I am a lurker, but created an account to share this. To give background info, I'm a male and 21 years young. I took SSRI's for 4 months starting Fall 2017. My libido was extremely high beforehand, my penis was very sensitive, and my orgasms were strong. I used to lust a lot and masturbate mostly every day. And I enjoyed every fucking minute of it. But long story short, I got off of SSRI's early Spring 2018 because I felt no difference in my anxiety besides loss of libido. Ever since then I've been suffering from PSSD. But in fall 2018, something happened that can't be ignored. I wanted to share it because I feel like it is some evidence that recovery is still within us.

I was in school studying for an exam and I saw this girl who caught my attention. She was walking past me and was wearing very thight clothing. She was also very thick and tall. As soon as I saw her, I began lusting. I got extremely horny. I'm not talking about "forcing myself to get hard" but the natural pre-PSSD horny.

When I began lusting, my dick began getting hard by itself and I felt a strong sensation at the tip of it. A sensation at the head of my dick that I wanted to rub and release. My dick wanted to fuck this girl and it wanted it bad. I wanted her to be on top of my penis just riding it. At that moment, I truly understood the phrase "men only think with their penis". My penis was thinking for me and I wanted to cave into it. It was honestly an intense feeling. It distracted me (in a good way) and even made me slightly uncomfortable because I was trying to prevent a boner lol.

The feeling only lasted a minute and it hasn't occurred again, but I am 100% confident at that moment I felt what it was like to feel horny again. Unfortunately i couldn't embrace the feeling since I was in school after all, but man my dick wanted to fuck. I wanted to be ridden so bad. I understand if it seems very minimal, but to me I believe this is important. Keep in mind this happened with just a thought. No supplements, no drugs, nothing. It was just a lustful thought that got me extremely horny for a minute. I'm lost just as much as you guys, but I always ask myself "how the hell did that happen?"

Apologies if it's a little raunchy. I'm not here to give anyone false hope or anything like that. Just wanted to share a personal experience. Maybe others have felt something similar?