Finities-infinities intro. Very strong enormous anhedonia.

[finities infinities]

Orgasm is ,,material" the same feeling.
Difference is the perception. This is very hard to described, but you imaginate orgasm in nightmarre or orgasm after death your love.- very sad, anxiety, unable to relax, depersonalization, anhedonia.
Why experience orgasm if it passes and then it gets worse? Why live in this world in general if it is unbearable?

[kpavel]

Orgasm is ,,material" the same feeling.
Difference is the perception. This is very hard to described, but you imaginate orgasm in nightmarre or orgasm after death your love.- very sad, anxiety, unable to relax, depersonalization, anhedonia.
Why experience orgasm if it passes and then it gets worse? Why live in this world in general if it is unbearable?

Usually people orgasm for relax, especially those with tension, if something distracts you from peak that's another problem, isn't it?

[finities infinities]

Yes, but it lasts so short. And then it's even worse. In this state, nothing relaxes, only constant tension, anxiety and terrifying existential thoughts. I don't feel the need to have sex at all, it seems disgusting to me and I don't have rare sexual fantasies. Only negative, pessimistic, suicidal thoughts.

[finities infinities]

I decided to use 30ml dextrometorphan for few days to sensitize the alpha4beta2 nicotinic receptor. This is risky with clomipramine, thats why I reduced my clomipramine dose few days ago.

[kpavel]

I decided to use 30ml dextrometorphan for few days to sensitize the alpha4beta2 nicotinic receptor. This is risky with clomipramine, thats why I reduced my clomipramine dose few days ago.

You may want to block kappa receptors somehow for this. They block nicotinic effects. Sign: your irritability.

[Meso]

You need an antidepressant first and foremost.

Why is Bupropion terror for you?

[finities infinities]

kpavel- There must be something to it. Everyone tells me practically that I have kappa overactivity. Hmm. Mu Antagonist downregulate kappa? Or pentazocine is kappa agonist, maybe to?
Mesolimbo- Bupropion and reboxetine is terror for me. Increase my all symptoms to suicide attemps, and produce strong agitation and insomnia with severe anxiety, and ,,horror movie" visual dissociation, very strong with visual snow. I taked reboxetine per 2 week and bupropion for 4 days and can't stand longer, this is terror for me.
I take clomipramine actually, but is better for me, but stoped working. I better tolerate SERT blockader than NET blockade, but alpha2 antagonist ( yohimbine) play totally different than NRI drug- bupropion and reboxetine. The same mianserin and amisulpride- antidepressant which very worsen my depression to unbearable state.
I took dextrometoprhan 20 ml, yesterday ago, i feel slighty better today! My suicidal thought is very smaller and my dissociation is slighty smaller! My rem sleep also smaller this night after DXM, my appetite also better!

[kpavel]

kpavel- There must be something to it. Everyone tells me practically that I have kappa overactivity. Hmm. Mu Antagonist downregulate kappa? Or pentazocine is kappa agonist, maybe to?

I heard that some facebook group tries kappa agonists like salvinorin to get out of anhedonia. Mianserin however agonizes too. But Apigenin may antagonize in nanomolar concentrations.
I guess kappa opioid receptor plays a protective tissue role which unfortunately portrays itself in aversion/anxiety that is avoiding.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9690855/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150294/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11420085
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8985710
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8867260
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20675200

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4250300/
THis may be yohimbine connection and alpha2 receptors are antinociceptive as well.

[finities infinities]

kpavel- mianserin very worsen my depression. in fact, it was only with the combination of mianserin / amisulpride that my loss of libido and excess morality, empathy, sinful state, the worst nightmare began and my vegetarian diet and intense worrying about my mother death.

[finities infinities]

I no longer took 2 doses of dextromethorphan. And today it stopped working, it is tragic again, and yesterday I regained a light libido. Today there are nightmares, salivation increased and I have severe symptoms of depression, anhedonia, suicidal thought, hyperalgesia, excessive empathy and hypermorality, sinful.
DXM also slighty dilation my pupil like clomipramine in first day working and inhibiting rem sleep- maybe muscarinic antagonist? Depression is often excess muscarinic activity, hmm this is have sense is my symptoms- maybe pilocarpine maybe good for downregulation muscarinic receptor and release dopamine from NAC? Risperidone- strong D2 antagonist increase muscarinic activity and cause depression ( JayR mentioned about this) so maybe here's the problem.